Do you know anyone who never accepts responsibility for anything negative that happens to them, to people around them, or to you? What's that called, again? Projecting, I think.

I could give enough examples to fill a Dead Sea Scroll, but I won't. It's a very childish thing to do. I mean, we all kick the rock that tripped us, but we know the rock didn't grow legs and sneak up in front of our toe. HAH! TAKE THAT, HUMAN!

It irks me when someone blames everyone else for their problems. We all have problems. The majority of them are preventable mistakes. Stupid, little things which are forgotten a week later. Why not accept the things that are your own dumb self's fault and move on?

It gets worse. Lying and blaming go hand in hand. If lying comes so easy to them, you can't help but wonder what else they lie about.

I'm no saint. I understand the urge. I'm not the wise man on the mountain, either. Wanting to defend the fragile ego is natural, I know. But does it really feel better to pass blame on constantly? Does it slough the shit of who you are off as though you're a sparkling human being underneath? I think it makes you that much emptier.

Feh. I'm going to watch Cashback and call it a night.

This is a new year. I can't believe I survived another mediocre, little increment of my life. What wonders will the new year hold? More feeling like a caged bird?

Ooh ohh! I know... Spineless bending to companionship I don't want!

An hour has passed since I started writing. I had these really angst-ridden thoughts to tap out on the keys, but I can't bring myself to. I'm far beyond pathetic bastard stage. I'm teetering on the brink of an incredible loss of words. That's it. I censor myself, anyway. Today, I woke up, I looked around, and I thought, "Where am I?" This is not my beautiful wife!

I have small ambitions. They're small, but they are mine. He has none. I save money. He does not. I strive for change (languishing and wallowing in my own funk here and there, but striving nonetheless). He does not. He once said he did not believe in monogamy. It negates every "I love you." He also said he doesn't believe in marriage. At least I dodged that bullet.

I believe in marriage. Not some state and church sanctioned bullshit that usually ends with someone cheating on the other, split families, and irreconcilable differences. No, no. Something more than a sitcom relationship.

But, anyway, I'm so curious what goes through a person like that's skull.

Another hour passed. I did things. Watching Louis CK now. YAY Freckles!

Maybe I'll think about this blooming onion tomorrow.