In an effort to be grounded, I've been randomly cleaning through old stuff. In my closet, up in the top part that I haven't sorted through in years, I found a little bag of notes and drawings to/from Wood. Maybe Toni can use some of that for her next book. Well, she's been toying with the idea of making a new book--sort of a 10 year anniversary of the book she compiled in high school.

She's doing well, if anyone is wondering. As well as can be expected of someone who lost their mother 5 days ago.

I've got so much dust up my nose right now that I can't sit here and type... Back to cleaning.

My stomach is better, but I want more sleep!

Regardless of what time I go to bed or have to get up, I can only sleep about a maximum of eight hours. When I was younger, I could sleep like a cat--easily, losing 16 hours of the day to sleep. I guess this is a true sign of getting older. The only time I can sleep beyond eight hours is when I am exhausted and have taken a pee break in the middle of the night.

Women tell me that after they've had a baby, their bladders turn against them. If they feel the urge to pee, they have to go to the wc right then. Well, it's probably a blessing I haven't had any kids, because when I feel the urge to go... I tend to hold it until the absolute last minute if I'm in bed.

as;glk;srfnrg Off to work I go... If I can get my mother to move her goddamn car and leave. Yes, she's here again. -_-

; ; I got up around 7am having to run to the bathroom with diarrhea. Okay.... that was completely fucking random.

So, I tried to go back to sleep for a few more minutes before work. Didn't have much luck there. When I finally got up and got dressed and groomed and was about to leave, I had to run to the wc again. That was at 8:15. At this point, my stomach was trying to inform me that it was not about to let me go anywhere, but I was not listening. I tried to go to work again, this time getting about half-way down Richmond Rd. before I abruptly turned around at a gas station and flew back home with the force of God keeping my bowels in check. I was supposed to be at work at 8:30. It's 9 now. I've tried to call in twice, and the first time I got a busy/disconnected signal, and the second time it just rang and rang and rang. Yay Christmas. I'm still in my goddamn uniform, I've got chills, and my stomach is holding me prisoner. Please send Sprite or Sierra Mist. I'll even take 7Up.

-_- I think this is viral because the only thing I had to eat yesterday was turkey and mashed potatoes, which my dad seems unaffected by, and some shortbread cookies. We ran out of water, and I had to drink tap water last night... God only knows what's in that stuff.

Oh, hey, I finally got through at work. That went well. One of the managers basically said "okay" and hung up on me. Great. And I was going to tell him that I'd try to come into work if my stomach stopped being a little bitch (well, I can't poop all day, for fuck's sake), but screw that! As short staffed as we are at work, I know that they need me there. But if they don't give me a moment to even explain why I'm calling in, then I shouldn't stress about it. I'm half-tempted to call back and speak to someone else.... But why should I at this point? There's only a slim chance that I'll feel better, anyway. Meh, that pisses me off.

Huff. You know what sucks? I was promising myself a nap after I got home from work today, because I haven't been getting much sleep at night. So, here I have this golden opportunity to sleep, and I can't even go back to bed because of the tummy thing. I'm wide awake now.

I saw I am Legend yesterday, right after work. I had been looking forward to this movie all year, since I first saw the teaser trailer. It was sadly disappointing. I'll not write spoilers, as I usually save that sort of thing for truly bad movies, so I'll just write that it could have been so much better than it was. Especially considering how much time they had to tweak it between the time they started making it and the time they finally released it. I mean, they were building it up for a whole year. Bleh.

Saw the preview for the next Narnia movie.

...Ow, bad tummy.

I'm not deeply captivated by the Narnia franchise. CS Lewis was one of my least favorite authors when I was a kid. However, the last movie was decent. I think I would have loved it as a child, and I think it's good that someone is interested in making fantasy movies for children. When I was growing up, we had many great fantasy films that now hold a place in my heart. Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, Legend, Krull, The Never Ending Story, etc. So, if Narnia can spark some imagination in the drone children of today, good. Creative children make creative adults, and we sure as hell could use more of those.

This stomach thing is beginning to piss me off. I have 1 of two possible reactions when I am under the weather; I either turn into a complete wimp, or I turn into a complete bitch. This is making me bitchy. Discomfort makes me bitchy, and pain makes me whiny. I'm not in pain, yet I feel incredible discomfort--what with the running to the toilet every few minutes and the churning of acid in my stomach.

New topic!

Thanks for all the Christmas cards, people. I wish I had sent some this year, but I procrastinated and never mustered the time and effort to do it. I still have a book of stamps from last year (which now need more postage since the price went up again), I'm just too much of a lazy fuck to use them.

Toni's mother is at home now. It's hard to say how she's doing. The outlook is grim and sure to get grimmer, and there isn't any way to prepare for it. The most important thing to do in this situation (and always, for that matter) is celebrate life while you can. People are often uncomfortable with celebrating a life when it's coming to an end, yet I find this to be much more cathartic than mourning it when it passes.

Merry Christmas, hobos.

Awkward family gatherings and very hurty tummies aside, the day wasn't so bad. Well, I take that back... that pretty much sums up the entire day, 'cept for going to visit Toni and her mom.

I hope everyone else had a much more eventful and warm Christmas.

Happy Holidays.

The drama with my mother continues... and I'm quickly arriving at the point where I want to gouge out my own eyeballs or drive icepicks into my ears to get away from her constant bitching.

I'm sick of it. She's literally making me sick with all the garbage she spews into my ear every day. I told my dad that I'd love to move a thousand miles away from here just to get away from her. She said something stupid on the phone today about leaving everything she had to me and my brother... to which I almost said something snarky like, "What, all your debt?" but I bit my tongue.

Every word that comes out of her mouth concerns my sister or how shitty her own life is. Every word. If I try to change the subject, she goes right back to "poor, poor me."

I'm sadly not kidding when I talk about moving away from here to get away from my family. They're so fucked up that it's turning me into a bitter, angry person. I'd send Christmas cards.

A huge wave of pissiness has swept over me. I feel numb yet restless. I can't get release in ways I could before... Nothing satisfies.

Not even fudge.