Oh, what the hell ever....

It's been a manic week all around. I'm beginning to think it's either getting worse, or others around me are perpetuating the up and down cycles of asshattery in my brain.

So, as a result, I am just going to go with the flow of things and let whatever will be be.

Flirtatious coworkers, disinterested lovers, jealous lovers! Oh, my!

But seriously, time for bed.

I have got to stop writing in this diary like I'm summarizing my daily activities. No one cares about that shit--not even me.

I hope Toni and I find/choose a place this week. I just want to get on with it.

RARRRR I'm like Superbitch today. Lack of sleep and pussyhurt will do that to a person. I got 6 hours of sleep Thursday morning, maybe 3-4 Friday night, and 3-4 last night. My bed looks like an oasis right now; I'm probably headed there soon.

MMMMMmmmm I'm off tomorrow <3

Time for naps.

Been in a bad spell lately.

I finished up my antibiotics a while back, and though the sinusitis thing has been reigned in a little and my ears have been behaving better, they're still annoying the shit out of me.

I had my last doctor visit for my back yesterday. I'm off all restrictions at work, and I don't have to do physical therapy. Hurray for that. Funny that even when I scheduled an appointment on Wednesday, I somehow still managed to get schedule for work on top of it... even though I'm usually off on Wednesdays. I just timed leaving for lunch to go to the appointment and came back.

At least I got my birthday off from work, even though I didn't do anything. I mostly sat around being a mopey turd. Toni and I went out the night before and saw The Mist, which was FUBAR, at the dollar theater.

I'm moving out soon, though we haven't actually chosen a place yet. More boxes are required for packing, yet I haven't been getting many good ones from work. Murr. Despite the fact that two rooms are lined with packed boxes, I still have a ton to go. I definitely need to look into new bookshelves and media storage after I move.

I can't think of anything entertaining to write, so I'll just go stretch my back and put on some pants.

I'm firing my immune system.

For the past couple days, my chest has been tight. Started wheezing and coughing a bit. I thought that maybe this cold thing I have has just started draining into my chest; however, today....

I woke up around 6am--wide awake. This is too early for me, especially after having gone to bed at 1am. I lied there for a little bit and tried to go back to sleep. After a few minutes, I decided to get up and take some cough medicine. Not 5 minutes later, my stomach was killing me. I wound up throwing up and then taking a thirty minute shower. All the cough medicine had come up--I thought that maybe it had upset my stomach--but I was still in a lot of pain. I went back to bed... got up a bit later and went to work. I felt strange... like my stomach was on fire. I made it through almost 2 hours at work when I had to go throw up again. The saliva glands in my mouth were boiling over in preparation for vomiting. That is almost as disgusting as vomiting itself.

I can't reiterate enough just how awful my stomach feels. At work, I threw up dark brown bile (I've thrown up bile before... never dark brown) as there wasn't anything else in my stomach. I'd drunk a cup of water before going to work, but I guess my body had already absorbed it. After hugging the porcelain god twice at work (yeah, I was on my knees because I'm not supposed to bend over), I started getting chills before I forced myself to go home. Going out into the parking lot, I stopped a few times to enjoy the cold air, and I hate the cold. It felt good and kept me from puking/dry heaving, so I drove home with the windows down. Threw up again when I got home. Since then, I've been sitting here with a blanket wrapped around me, trying to be as still as possible. My stomach is churning so painfully, and I can hear trapped air moving around. I find that moving causes more pain, and my saliva glands are still bursting from time to time... though I have nothing in my stomach to throw up but possibly more bile. I've actually been lying down in bed watching A&E for the last several hours. Why, I have no idea... I'm not really big on TV, but there's not much you can do when you're sick and trying to move as little as possible. Hunger just drove me to get up and sit here again.

My mom was kind enough to bring me some Sprite, so I've been slowly sipping at one of those 8 oz. cans for the last hour or so. I'm so goddamned thirsty and hungry, but my stomach hurts so much that I want to rip it out and throw it at someone. My dad thinks I have the flu that's been going around. -_-

Well, whatever I've got... SHOOT HER.

Fuck this weather. I mean it. Bend it over and fuck this weather without so much as a kiss first.

My cold has traveled to my chest.

I really want a cat, but it looks like that's not happening. Most apartments have a 2 pet maximum, and Toni will have 2 cats. As for apartment hunting... Gods, I hate it. My big issue with a lot of the places is the non-refundable application fee. One place, for example, requires $25 from each occupant... Another place is $100. Now if you're rejected for, say, bad credit/no credit, that's money you'll never see again. Of course, there are tons of places we haven't looked into yet. I know for a fact that I have no credit. I just recently got my first CC and have used it once. Haven't even gotten my first bill yet.

In other news, I went to the doctor again for my back. The first time, I was put on restrictions of no bending, lifting, twisting, climbing, etc. etc. I brought this information into personnel, and they did nothing. I went right back to my department without so much as an offer of a stool. Second trip to the doctor, she said the same thing--my restrictions didn't change. Again, nothing for me at work changed. I have avoided heavy lifting, but I haven't been sitting down or avoided bending. Third time, today, the doctor said absolutely no bending. I'm not healing properly, and she wants me to do physical therapy. Goddammit. Personnel said, "Well, I guess we'll have to put you on light duty." NO SHIT? YOU THINK? You should have done that when I returned to work, you pricks.

My back is... still hurting after a long day of work. After a few hours, all I want to do is sit down, but it's impossible to do that in my department. I tried to sit on a stool for a while, but it just resulted in me getting up and down every other minute to help a customer.

So, in sum: BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I can't sleep. In truth, I've been having a rough time sleeping for the last few weeks. Strange work schedule and this damn head cold thing are to blame. Normally, when I get a bad cold, it drains into my chest and becomes bronchitis. I think I would actually prefer that to what I've got now. While bronchitis sucks copious amounts of donkey dick, it goes away. This bullshit in my head will not go away.

In other news, my back is almost completely healed. Though I haven't been allowed the "light duty" the doctor restricted me to, I have been avoiding heavy lifting and bending over too much. After a long day at work, my back does hurt, and those first few seconds after I sit down are torturous.... Fuck my job in the ear for ignoring my doctor's orders.

Trying to find an apartment on this side of town is hell. I doubt very much that Toni and I will find something we'll both be totally happy with, and there are a select few places which look promising. It's a right pain the ass driving around looking at apartments (I've been tooling around trying to remember the names of places as I go so that I can remember where they are when I look them up later). Could be worse, I guess.

We appear to have a mouse problem in this house. There haven't been mice here since we moved in several years ago, but they are back with a vengeance. For the last week, my dad has been setting one trap and usually catches one per night. It grosses me out; I've lost my appetite when it comes to eating here. Silly, little field mice.

I guess it's time to try to sleep again. I went to bed the first time around 3, but flailed around for about an hour because I couldn't breathe, then wound up taking a shower. Bleh.