currently: ugh. me strong.

*listening to Delerium's Odyssey disc 2*

Ya know what? Sometimes I do really stupid things, and I hate myself for it. But every once in a while, I'm granted an epiphany. I'm gifted with the ability to see into people more than they themselves see. Maybe it makes up for all the ugliness in my life. Though it's not always a blessing.

I'm getting better at accepting all the shit the world throws at me. I think I'm strong enough to sigh and let things be. I can't change things that are beyond my reach.

My friend Larry's father is dying. All I could do was lend him my ear to comfort him.

The Piscean world must be in full tilt right now. Every Pisces I know has been a magnet for negativity lately. But I have faith that tomorrow will be brighter. Or at least less shitty. Wow, I said something optimistic. And I'm not medicated. Weird.

Sometimes you can't help but look in the neighbor's yard and wish, "I wish my grass was that green." This, of course, does not prevent you from throwing your dog's shit in their yard.

Boobies.

Sorry, I'm trying to make myself smile. Boobies is a funny word. Be free, boobies!

Hmmmm. It's not working. But I am in a better mood, so all is not lost. For now, anyway.

I know it sounds dumb, but I'm most proud of myself for not resorting to violence these last few days. I did punch a few walls, but they deserved it, I swear. Damn walls.

I'd have slept with the devil if he'd shown up on my doorstep. Ooh. The devil as a rebound. Hmmm. Good thing I'm better today.

I even let myself play my new game, Arc the Lad, for 20 minutes.

Rask's birthday is soon. I'm not sure what I'll do with what I g.... nevermind, I don't want to think about that just yet.

I wanna see Spiderman. Gambit's my favorite comic book character, but Spidey's damn hot.... must be that spandex outfit.

Everybody dance.

I really wanna dye my fucking hair. Or cut it all off. Murr. Something dramatic. Stupid work doesn't allow funky hair color, though.

My heart no longer feels like it's under a cement slab. It's been moved to a freezer in a dirty garage. It could be thawed out eventually. In the right hands.

9:06pm

currently: <---sarcasm

*listening to Tori Amos, "Cornflake Girl" maxi single*

I just got back from Spiderman. WEeeeEEee. *insert animal growl here* I enjoyed it. It surprisingly followed the comic pretty well ('cept for the whole silk from his wrists bit). Of course, there was some degree of cheesiness--it's a superhero movie, what do you expect? Toby did a good Spidey. Mmmyep. Fuck the critics. Aside from the gratuitous perky nipple shots of Mary Jane (which I'm sure all the males in the audience will appreciate), I was pleased with it.

Sister Janet, you have come. From a woman clothed with the sun... Or something.

So, that served as a worthy distraction for a few hours. Now what?

... I suppose there's always sleep. Or I could call up someone. Decisions, decisions.

Pah, look at me! I'm like some bad, off-broadway actress and my make-up is flaking. Just peeling away and exposing my every nerve. Go ahead, touch me, watch me scream.

*David Bowie's Hours... stirs in the stereo*

eh, I can't be grumpy when I hear David.

I'm on neutral ground now. I refuse to get off the fence until I know what's going on with my current situation. I don't wanna hope or expect or wish or regret until everything's out in the open.

Could I be a little more cryptic? Naw....

I wanna get inebriated. Maybe I should call.... Eh... awkward. =/ Fuck it, I'll call when I get off here.