currently: looking for you

*listening to Depeche Mode*

don't say you want me
don't say you need me
don't say you love me
it's understood
don't say you're happy
out there without me
I know you can't be
cuz it's no good

Gonna take my time. I have all the time in the world to make you mine. It is written in the stars above.

Ever want to grab someone and shake 'em really hard? Yeah, me too.

I found this picture of myself from the seventh grade. I'm wearing a pink sweater (what sort of crack was I on, exactly?) with a white shirt underneath. My hair is falling over my shoulders like a copper waterfall. I look like shit. Shocker.

Well, it's about time. It's beginning to hurt.

Any time I look at old photos of myself, I feel a little sick to my stomach. To think, "I grew from that?" or "I am some new version of that?!" is horribly depressing. Maybe we all feel that way. At least I didn't have some unnatural smile slapped on my face in this one.

Gods, I am bored. So very very bored. That must mean I'm boring. Go me.

I can hear your soul crying
listen to your spirit sighing

Somewhere out there, through the invisible threads, I can feel someone convulsing with sobs.

I can taste the tears falling
the bitterness inside calling

Someone... in my network of threads... weeping. I can feel it on my fingertips. But I cannot tell whom it is, or they are hiding from me. Intuition could narrow it down, but I am not in the right mind to care.

the sun will shine
the bottom line
I'll follow you

Behold, I am bored (what else is new?):

Dark purple nails ^_^ Dark purple nail polish on the keyboard X_X Oops. Oh, what the fuck do I care? I got this piece of crap keyboard for free at work a couple years ago. I would spray paint it... but knowing my luck, I'd fry something. Myar.

I am suddenly wondering if Puppy is ever going to call or has tried to call. If I really cared, I could call him. But I think I'll keep my phone line busy.

Speaking of calls, Chris said he was going to call me earlier. I got off the computer, so he could. I ended up falling asleep. No call. He's all fuct in the head since his break-up. He says he thinks he's going back to his old ways, the ways he took before I knew him, which are pessimistic and hopeless like my own ways. His mother offered to get him professional help, and he says he might take her up on that. He has got to find some catharsis somewhere.

currently: I can't hear

*trying to listen to The Police Box Set*

I was going to make the subject line "I'll always be king of pain," but since I'm female, I thought what I put down was funnier. Eh.

I just noticed that I have the stereo cranked up a little higher than usual, and it doesn't seem any louder. Must be the congestion.

Kuroiko and I are thinking about new diary layouts to celebrate being at diaryland for a year. I know I didn't change mine that long ago. =P

Must go play with photoshop now. BBL.

currently: Fuck you, Cock

*listening to Blondie*

Cockass must have a gerbil stuck in some unmentionable body cavity, because he's been annoying the piss out of everyone lately. Not just me.

Well... enough about him.

I started a new page because I did an awful lot of ranting yesterday. I'm feeling slightly better today (actually slept somewhat decently last night).

Dreaming is free

Rob randomly messaged me again last night. He sent a picture of himself over AIM... And it really makes me wonder even more why he's "in love" with his older woman. He's not bad looking. Strange indeed.

I've been oddly smiley today, in a mean sort of way. Reveling in the misfortunes of others. It ain't easy being evil. Karma should bite me on the ass any moment.

Rapture

I just attacked my head with scissors. o.O Nehehehehe.

OOooooh, the Nintendo rep came into work today. =D Read my dilemma: PSO comes out Oct. 29th. The BB adapter comes out in November. The limited edition platinum Gamecube comes out Nov. 3rd. >_< I think I will go ahead and buy the game, then wait for the platinum 'Cube and BB adapter (if I have cable internet by then). Of course, all of this depends on whether Rask buys another 'Cube (he broke his... surprised?) and when he leaves. I am really looking forward to playing an online game, since I haven't in months. Ragnarok was a good game, but it's out of the picture right now and stuff. Final Fantasy Online comes out supposedly this winter.

O' the agony! The anticipation! The dorkdom!

*insert Debby singing in French here*

Ah'm in luv wif chu.

I'm still reading Return of the King. Last night, I read two chapters. A feat for my slow-ass. But it's getting really good. I'm dying for the story to turn back to Frodo and Sam. O_O

I love the way Boyd (Pippin) says "Frodo" in the movie. His accent is friggin' adorable.