currently: awnaw

*listening to Poe, Haunted*

I'm lost and the shadows keep on changing

Damn, this song is fitting.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

Did you know that with my voice I can soothe restless souls to sleep? I can do other things, but the sleeping bit pleases me.

I never particularly cared for my voice. People often tell me that I sound just like my sister, and her voice grates on my nerves.... but that could just be because she's my sister. I think my voice will stay as it is now for the rest of my days. Plain old alto--common for women my age and stature. But someone likes it. Murr.

I smoke far too much when I'm on the computer.

This self-betterment crap is terribly time-consuming.

I wanna walk to the beat of my own drum

And better than what, pray tell? Better than dipping your face in hot tar? Better than walking into shark infested waters? Better than swallowing a razor blade?

I'm feeling odd. In many ways, actually. Odd because it's spring. Odd because you're odd. Odd because everything in my life is half making sense and half not.

There are times when an apology isn't enough. There are times when words cannot express hardly enough what I want to communicate. For those times, it's better to just sit and stare idly at the person to which I'm trying to talk. If I try to form words, they usually end up screwing with the thought behind them.

I have been known to go into hiding or avoid people at times. Sue me. It's usually because I'm not ready to deal with them or the issues they bring to the table. Or I don't want to at all. One or the other. I don't take well to being crossed. In fact, it's fairly well known that I hold grudges. Unless it is all justified. Then I'm fine. Logic eases my temper.

Hey, pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me?

When I said to myself that this was it, that this was the only indulgence I was giving myself, I was not lying. And now I will sleep, because all the lies and all the pain are making my heart studder.