can't sleep... can't fucking sleep.... brain overloading.

frustrated.

*screams and bangs head against keyboard*

jkhjk

Owwie.

currently: I'm a loser, baby

*listening to The Cure, Disintegration*

I have done absolutely nothing all day. Nothing. Well, save read too much into things, per usual.

I thought that today I would hear my fox, and it would make all the dark clouds disappear. Actually, I missed him a little too much this week, so I was really looking forward to hearing his voice.

Fuck a bunch of that and a pot of jam.

You fool. Get your head out of the clouds. Alright, now that I've got my feet planted firmly on the ground, I think I can safely say that I am saddest masochist on the block. I must stop expecting too much of people. I must stop feeling more than I should. And if I seem cold in my neutral, little state... Sorry, I don't mean to. I'm just tired of feeling aggitated or hurt when I'm --hell, I don't know. I lost my train of thought.

And I don't know what's responsible, but I'm hungry for attention right now. Not spot-light attention. I want company. This is so rare, I don't know what to make of it. I hope the feeling goes away. I'm whining enough, as is.

All these minor things keep happening, and they're beginning to bog me down. And they shouldn't be affecting me as they are. I should be shrugging them off. I'm not sure what's serious and what's not. I killed a whole day in anticipation. I think I'll go crawl under my desk now.

When routine bites hard,
And ambitions are low,
And resentment rides high,
But emotions won't grow,
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads.

Love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.

Just felt like playing some Joy Division for some reason.

I'm thinking about running a net radio station when I get cable. *shrug* Just a thought.

currently: that's about what my hair looks like in the morning.

Pah.

I thought I had something I wanted to write about, but I have decided that I don't. So, instead, how about some cheese?

Once upon a time there was a bull grazing in a field by a stream. After consuming much grass, he ventured to the stream for a drink. And behold, a fish was in this stream, just minding her own fucking business. The bull was curious and watched the fish for a while. The fish, being completely unaware of the bull, swam after little insects on the surface of the water. The bull poked his nose in the water and flipped her onto the grass with his snout. And there, she jumped and danced before suffocating. The end.

currently: must burn off that lasagna....

*listening to the 80's station*

One of my coworkers messaged me earlier and told me Cockass was going to have a fieldday with me Saturday. Well, I'll be prepared. Cockass is the only person I've ever snapped at more than once... this'll just be one more time. And I don't give a flying fuck if district people were in the store today. That's no excuse not to answer the phone. RARR.

VENT VENT VENT.

My class was cancelled earlier.=/ So, I drove all the way over there for nothing. Typical.

Shoot that poisoned arrow through my heearrrrrt.

I'm actually waiting for Rask to come online. Won't keep my fingers crossed. Might go take a shower. Yeah, that sounds good.

currently:

So, I had this fuct up dream last night/this morning. In it, I was setting my alarm clock and kept accidently passing the time I wanted to set. The rest of the dream need not be mentioned, for it was quite dumb. Anyhow, I woke up because sunlight was hitting me across the eyes. I slowly came to the realization that I should have been at work by that time. I stretched, tried to yawn but nearly hacked up a lung instead and decided it was fate that I call in.

I tried to call in. Three separate times. Each time, I let the phone ring for about ten minutes or more. I finally said, "Fuck it" and went back to sleep. My phone never rang once, so they never tried to call. I expect they'll probably try to write me up on Saturday. In the nice little comment box, I will write, "I called all morning and no one answered the phone. No one ever called me at home, so you apparently do not care about my well-being. Why should I care about this write-up?"

In truth, this chest cold is getting rather annoying. I've been sick for, what, a week now? Instead of getting better, the disease is evolving. And it just so happens to be timed perfectly with my period. The stars are out to get me. Every time someone hears me wheezing or coughing, they can hear the fluid in my lungs, and I inevitably get the "that's why you should quit smoking" speech. This isn't smoker's hack, you tits. And I have not been smoking much, let me tell you. The junk in my lungs is already fairly colorful, I'm sure, without the brown tinge of tar.

Hmm... my d-land anniversary is soon. I'm still not sure what to do for my next layout. Ah, but I am finally able to get back on my sweb account! So, I can upload all kinds of crap once again!

My pretty tabby boy just came in a mewed at me. Actually, it was more a mewrffff accompanied by a swat at my arm. This can only mean one thing: the food dish is dangerously low. I left the bedroom door open last night for Morg, since she was whining. This resulted in cat ass being firmly pressed against my arm for the rest of the night. -_-; Sometimes, I don't know what to do with her.

I still haven't deposited my last pay check. o_o With all the spending I've done lately, I'm sure my account numbers look pathetic. I really couldn't afford to miss work today, either. Well, I could... but I should tell myself I couldn't.

Okay, Zillah is still staring at me. It's making me paranoid. Guess I should feed the little bugger.