currently: annoyed

*listening to NIN, the Fragile*

Yep, went to work this morning on about 2 hours of sleep. My fuse was getting shorter and shorter as the day progressed 'til finally some ballscab (customer) lit me up. So, I'm setting some displays and what not when this tool asks me why we don't have NBA Live for the PS2. I tell him that the game hasn't come in yet, and we're actually scheduled to recieve it tomorrow. As if I'm not even standing there, the tool turns to my coworker in the next aisle and asks him the very same goddamn question. My coworker gives the same response I gave almost word for word.

This is not the first time this shit has happened. And I'm not alone. People (specifically guys) are incapable of accepting what anyone with tits tell them. I have no solution to this. I'd have loved to have told the guy to eat a dick.

So, with my fuse lit, I leave work. And what do I see? Two lil' teenage girls in an SUV. Now, I hate SUV's, anyway, but the tart driving doesn't even stop when she sees me crossing the parking lot. My brain goes on warpath mode, thinking, "WEeeee I'm sixteen. I'm completely unaware of how low the resources in the world are, so I'm going to get the biggest car mommy and daddy can afford and waste as much gas and space as possible! Teehee! Is that my cel phone ringing? I should answer that keep on driving because I don't care if it endangers me or anyone around me or that it's against the law."

Rarrr....

My mother gave me a key to her house to keep. Will wonders ever cease? I'm supposed to walk her dog tonight and tomorrow. Since she has nothing to do, she's been driving down to wherever the hell my brother is to visit him. Must be nice to not have a job and do whatever you damn well please all day at the expense of others. *twitch*

I must go relax. Maybe watch Steel Angel Kurumi #4 and that Kenshin DVD I got 2 weeks ago.

currently: ...

*listening to random MP3s*

Which Subaru are you?
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Mmm third day off in a row. I got up not too long ago. Lo and behold, I'm cleaning a little and doing laundry. This madness must stop.

What Dogma character are you?
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Never had a stoke of bad luck. Spell check is your friend, people. (though stoke is a word.... wrong context.)

to be with you
to be my girl again
the time has come
the future in my hands
when I want love you see it in my eyes
when you want more I can see it in your smile
what I'm waiting for is to be with you
to be with you again
what I'm waiting for is to be with you again.

currently:

*listening to orchestrated music from FF9*

Hmm. I bought a bustier yesterday but returned it for one with straps today. Why I feel the need to write that down, only gawd knows. And I didn't want straps. But I need straps.

I haven't really had anything worth writing in some time. I finally got around to buying another paper journal to scribble in. It's big. O.O

Asa no niji ka.....

Lost my train of thought. If I had one.

I should be studying furiously to catch up with my sociology and english courses. Should be. You try finding the motivation for such trivial shit when nothing in the world makes sense right now.

The song in the ending credits of Sorcerer Hunters in on now. I read volume 11 of the manga last night. Why must Carrot be so cute?! Murr. But Tira is still my favorite character. I guess because I identify with her. /end fangirl rant

I will accomplish something today. I will. Even if it's something as minor as cleaning. Ugh... cleaning.

I'm about to go to Halloween Town in Kingdom Hearts. XD I can't wait to see Jack and Sally.

Speaking (well, writing) of Nightmare Before Christmas, the Disney Store has this awesome snowglobe (it's not really a snowglobe--it bubbles) that plays the theme from the movie. It's huge. And $78.50. *cries* I WANT!

sexy kung fu fighter
let me take you higher

DDR music. HEE.

And I now have a cute lil plusy of the black kitty from Trigun. His head's so big that he won't sit properly. But it's cute, dammit.

I just had a random flashback of Imajica. I haven't read that in five years. Where the fuck did that come from?

On to better and dirtier things.

Ummm... What a boring night. I spent 3 hours drawing shitty doodles on an oekaki board. ;-; There are no words to express what I'm feeling right now save MURR. I'm sleeping now.

What box do you get put in?
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Must go get paycheck and go shopping. O_O That hurricane rain is finally hitting. Meep.

Finally, I leave you with this, because it is cool:
Viking Kittens

^_____^

Where was I?

Though I know where this is leading, please...
no tears, no sympathy

There's a certain catharsis in singing, even if your own voice displeases you, I think. Like a lonely wolf, howling at the moon. Wait there quietly for the moon to answer back, and instead... hear the cries of other lonely wolves.

seems I'm not alone in being alone
a hundred billion castaways, looking for a home

Sorry, I'm jittery from coffee. I had a strange craving for coffee, so I pick up some on the way back from class. That and cigarettes. Yeah, my blood pressure's loving me, right about now.

I see the vast universe, and I--the pin prick in the fabric of reality--wonder what role I am to take in it. Do I uncase my dragon wings and spread my arms to nurture the world, undeserving or not? Whom do I take into my arms and protect? It is quite obvious that I cannot even protect myself. And so, I wonder more and more. Who am I? The tiger, the dragon, the human, or the absolute truth? So many questions. All unanswerable.

I was unwanted in a world that with my hands I'd helped to build.

Perhaps isolation has finally driven me mad. Still, I am not completely alone. I walk among the living. In my head, however, it's entirely different. The whispers are my own. Only me. I lie down to sleep alone and get entangled in thoughts that are my own. Sometimes, the feeling of being so small and insignificant is unbearable. I wrap my arms around my head to shield myself from the chaos.

we kill everything
by our blindness and stupidity
we kill everything

It's saddening to imagine that I will live on again and again, because the world is too insane to find a moment's peace in it. There's the little Buddhist in me coming through again.

I need sanctuary. My mind is enough to deal with; I don't need the addition of work, school, and society straining me. But none of us are that lucky. To be able to do what we wish. I'm surrounded by the Protestant work ethic, where doing what your heart desires is unthinkable. Even rebellion fits into the patten, somehow. We are stuck... and decaying.

Reading Thomas Paine is not helping. -_-

I do not wish to be a link in this chain. The human me cannot cope with being human. The lives of humans now are illogical. It's no wonder some of us snap every day... like what's going on in Maryland right now. Random people are being killed for no apparent reason.

Twenty-five million people in Africa have AIDS.

Suffering is nothing new. We inflict it on ourselves ceaselessly. Explain to me why?