Who's your greasy-haired manbitch?
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weee another quiz to fuck up my layout. No matter... this one will be down in 2 days.

I just took a most glorious nap... Well, it would have been glorious if the phone hadn't rung 40 times. And I answered... because I am stupid. I should screen my calls.

According to the computer at work, Phantasy Star Online will be about November 2 or 3 and the Platinum cube is 2 or 3, as well (I got the dates screwed up in my head). The broad band adapter was supposed to come out today; however, it has not arrived and the computer says none are on order and it hasn't been assigned a price yet. That's always a good sign. The cube is supposed to start pushing it's online stuff right about now, too. Oh, well. I may use dial for a little longer. Cheapass am I. (nevermind I'll be spending $200 on a cube and that game.)

Some of us don't have parents that spoil us to death..... Must be nice. Then I could neglect them even more *le sigh* I'm being sarcastic, dumbfuck.

I have absolutely decided that I am moving next spring/summer. I do not know where. I do not care where. All I know is that I am growing more insane each day and that can't be good for my little well being. And I don't even care about school. I can't force myself to.

That nap has screwed me royally for sleeping tonight.

A different quiz, what strange type of person are you?
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Rrrright.

DAMN YOU UN-FERTILIZED EGGS OF SPITE!

I feel like refried ass... so I'm trying to talk myself into going to class. FUCK CLASS FUCK IT OMG FUCK IT. As you can see, I'm feeling a bit manic today. MANIC? TRY FUCKING PSYCHOTIC BIOTCHA. I hate you.

Before you point your finger, you should know that I'm the man and if I'm the man then you're the fucking man, as well, so you can point that fucking finger up your ass.

Oh Mickey you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind. hey mickey. fuck off

Tool and Toni Basil should never meet... even on an acid trip in Las Vegas. NO.

15 minutes (good movie) til I have to go to class. Or crawl under my blankets and pass out until I work again tomorrow. Sign your organ and tissue donor card and let your family know.

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK. That's my word today. Fuck fuckety fuck fuck.

Money means nothing. I should quit my job and become a bag lady.

I do not want to know who's sleeping with who at work. Why do people feel the need to tell me these things? WHHHHY?? I want to scrape out my eyes with an ice cream scoop now.

Cyndi Lauper Bops... uh... damn the 80's channel for fucking up my brain.

At the rate I'm going, it'll be a wonder if I have enough space in the backyard for more bodies to bury by the end of the year. er.... that's just between you and me.

*splurch* drat, there went my last drop of sanity. I'm too distracted to pretend to be paying attention in class. I need the attendence points but I REALLY DON'T FUCKING CARE.

Some thread to cling to.

I am alone. I am afraid. I am unhappy. Such a stupid reality to face every day.

It's time for a blistering shower. Yes, curl up in the tub under water so hot your folicles scream.

currently: dot dot dot

*listening to VNV Nation, Empires*

I have no words of wisdom to impart on you today nor any day except do not live your life as I live mine. Unless, of course, you would take some thrill out of never accomplishing anything and being quite the little coward when it comes down to anything important.

the anger and the pain of knowing where I am

tell me what to do, so I do nothing wrong
something i can hope for
something real that i can see
so nothing falls apart
so this does not end
i cannot return
I can't start again

I still have no direction. I do not expect it to come falling into my lap from the heavens, but a simple nudge would be nice. If things fall apart, as I see them so clearly doing, I will get away. Just pick up and leave. Uproot. There's nothing here for me. I doubt there's anything for me anywhere, but a change of scenery might refresh my senses. The lack of concentration and the apathy are killing me. The dissatisfaction with where I am now and where I will remain if I do not do something will drive me mad before that.

How much more can I possibly take? What's my limit, I wonder, before I snap and throw it all away? How long can I fool myself into believing that I have not wasted so many years of my life...?

I have smoked far too much the last few days. Nervously lighting up another cigarette as I stare into pixels and charm myself with music... was I always this way? I swear I used to feel more acutely. I used to be able to cry. Nothing more.

currently: <--me after drawing on the computer too long

*listening to Nine Inch Nails, Halo Three*

Hmmm. I lost a drawing I had been working on for two and a half hours last night because my computer froze... *twitch* That was *twitch twitch* annoying.

I will try to recreate that drawing some other time... *sigh* It was going to be good, too.

I found out today that my supervisor at work stepped down. No real surprise. I thought he was going to quit altogether. Now, these leaves the position open and if Cockass gets it... First, I will scream. Then, I will quit.

Naturally, the week I have midterms, I have more hours at work. Bastards.

I have done nothing lately. Nothing is good but quite boring. Look, it's 6:30 and I have nothing planned. Only a couple more weeks until I can completely get lost in the sweet oblivion that is Phantasy Star Online. In KH, I just got my ass kicked by some scary boss thing at the clock tower in Nevernever Land. I didn't even know is was there. Same thing goes for the boss in the desert of Agrabah. >_< My party is only level 55-57. Poo.

Vanilla Coke is god. I normally don't drink anything carbonated... but this is yummy. Not as yummy as Vanilla Creme Soda but still yummy.

My room is a disaster area, and I don't care enough to clean right now. Ennui! Ashtray filled to the brim. Kitty litter in the hall. Numerous empty glasses on my desk. Ah. Comics strewn across the floor. I couldn't care less.

I think after this semester I will go hide out in the woods under a dead tree for a while.

Fox withdrawl. Tell me a story.

currently: Mechanics are third to the devil, doctors being second

*listening to Rasputina, Thanks for the Ether*

This is the conversation I had in my head with the mechanic:

me: My muffler's about to fall off. Could you look at my brakes, as well?
him: Sure.... *dollar signs appear in his eyes*
me: I brought my DAD with me.
him: *dollars signs go up in smoke*
....
him: Well, your brakes need this and that and this, too. Not to mention, this and this. The muffler and this-that will cost about $120.
me: Can you give me an estimation on the brakes?
him: Hmmm *adds it all up, throwing in that, that, and the other* That'll be around $390. And you need new CV boots on each front brake. Those are $90 each.
me: I see. I'll take the muffler.
him: Oh, and that resonator we replaced two years ago looks like it's going to break. That's another $100.
me: How about I shove that resonator up your ass while you call my name?
him: Okay, but that's going to cost extra.

So, I got a new muffler. Car sounds 10 times better. The brakes (and I had him look at them on a whim because they've been squeaking for a while) will have to wait. I'm going to have someone else give me an estimation on them, too. You can trust a mechanic about as far as you can throw your car. Even with Daddy glaring him down.

I made a page for the shabby oekaki doodles I've been doing. You can see it here. Your browser must be able read png formats. (most can)

Well, I whipped that test's ass. At least I know I'm not completely tanking this semester. Mwah.

Mmm Almond Joy.

Weeeeee

currently: No, I'm not sneaking up on you.

*listening to Covenant, Theremin*

It's been a while since I've done this *pops knuckles*....

Heart of Gold

I want to live, I want to give
I've been a miner for a heart of gold
It's these expressions I never give
That keep me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old

I've been to Hollywood, I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind, it's such a fine line
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old

Keep me searching for a heart of gold
You keep me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old
I've been a miner for a heart of gold

Neil Young

I heard that on the radio as I was driving to work. I just put on the Tori version to make sure I got the lyrics right.

When I got home, my dad said, "I'm hungry, why don't you fix me something to eat." And instead of laughing at him as I normally do, I made a meal. *Icicles drip from the Devil's chin* Hell, I even made gravy. *Devil's horns turn to snowy powder and blow away* What? I was in the mood for a real meal. Those are a rarity around here.

I have to go study for my Geography test in a bit. But first, I will drown a few brain cells in the sea of information.

I've been wearing the coat I painted Count D on (I never got around to finishing it... too lazy), and everyone has been asking if I painted it. Shit, they still do that when I wear my trench coat. *sigh* I guess I ask for it.

"Did you paint that? Wow, she's hot."
"Yes, he is, isn't he?"
"Is that a Pokemon?"
"...." *fume* "No. That's his grand daddy, Q-chan."
"Oh."