rarara

Fyx is level 57 now, and Bhirava is 176. I'm in the middle of the Heat Sword quest on V hard mode. I found a Vjaya in the first room. Just ran into a Hildablue and it dropped a Final Impact. XD Sweet nubbins. XD Back to my game....

currently: head hurty

I went to bed with a headache; I woke up with a headache. *shakes fist at the heavens* I'll get you back one day. All of you!

I had a dream last night about a giant brown fox. We're talking wolfishly big. Maybe bigger. Anyhow, I think this was all taking place in my grandmother's house (which was torn down soon after she died). Other people in the house wanted to shoo the fox away or even kill it because they are "pests." But I protected it and kept it away from them. Oddly, this wild animal was very friendly with me, though foxes are usually weary of people. Now, the break up the possible symbolism in the dream, I was very aware that I was thinking about Rask and this only made me more protective of the fox. He's a brown fox, it was a brown fox, you get the idea.

I have to work from 1 to 8:45. >_< Must digest painkillers, so I'm not completely miserable.

Look at my latest doodle: here. It's surrounded by some horrid drawings and a few good ones, I'll warn you now.

Fyxation
current level: 56
Bhirava is level 160 or so
current weapon of choice: G. Assassin Sabers
new items: another Crush Bullet, another DB Saber, Booma's Claw, and Diska of Liberator.

Ramen noodles are god. That's right. You can purchase god for less than a quarter at any grocery store. And when you're slurping down every noodlicious bite, you are injesting the divine! BEHOLD! Why do I have the distinct feeling I will be living off of god eventually? And if you are what you eat, that makes me god, and I say, "You're all going to hell. Amen."

Spoink

I'm sorry. I'm on the verge of having a mental break down and the only thing steering me away from this is pure chaos. Why the mental break down, you may ask but are afraid of being bitten. Well, to be honest, I can't drive down the block without thinking something along the lines of, "what the fuck am I doing?" I am beginning to doubt myself, second guess myself, loathe myself. And I see no reason not to. I have done nothing of which to be proud. I have accomplished nothing. And the path that I am on is not leading to either.

what possesses me to right what you have suffered?

You can do anything. You only have to be willing to sell your soul to do it.

there is no faith in which to hide
even truth is filled with lies

I feel like screaming. Just fucking screaming at all the atrocities of humankind and the stupidity which we put ourselves through. And we don't even have a reason for it. It sure as hell isn't for betterment. We're not getting better. We control each other, we control everything, and for what? What purpose does it ultimately serve? It's so illogical; it's a wonder each of us don't wake up everyday bleeding from every facial orifice.

How many of us are truly happy?

forget your fears and want no more
you will be strong and want no more
you'll be adored and will have everything....

AGH! It hurts! The bullshit that I call my life hurts! The bullshit that we call living hurts! >___< I think my head is going to implode.

Ramen noodles are god. That's right. You can purchase god for less than a quarter at any grocery store. And when you're slurping down every noodlicious bite, you are injesting the divine! BEHOLD! Why do I have the distinct feeling I will be living off of god eventually? And if you are what you eat, that makes me god, and I say, "You're all going to hell. Amen."

Spoink

I'm sorry. I'm on the verge of having a mental break down and the only thing steering me away from this is pure chaos. Why the mental break down, you may ask but are afraid of being bitten. Well, to be honest, I can't drive down the block without thinking something along the lines of, "what the fuck am I doing?" I am beginning to doubt myself, second guess myself, loathe myself. And I see no reason not to. I have done nothing of which to be proud. I have accomplished nothing. And the path that I am on is not leading to either.

what possesses me to right what you have suffered?

You can do anything. You only have to be willing to sell your soul to do it.

there is no faith in which to hide
even truth is filled with lies

I feel like screaming. Just fucking screaming at all the atrocities of humankind and the stupidity which we put ourselves through. And we don't even have a reason for it. It sure as hell isn't for betterment. We're not getting better. We control each other, we control everything, and for what? What purpose does it ultimately serve? It's so illogical; it's a wonder each of us don't wake up everyday bleeding from every facial orifice.

How many of us are truly happy?

forget your fears and want no more
you will be strong and want no more
you'll be adored and will have everything....

AGH! It hurts! The bullshit that I call my life hurts! The bullshit that we call living hurts! >___< I think my head is going to implode.

My dad walked in last night while I had this diary open, and he said, "Did you draw the dirty picture?"
I replied, "It's not dirty."

I have to go to class in a few minutes. I am so looking forward to giving a five minute presentation on Japanese politics. I will read directly from my paper. Eat that.

I'm so fucking bored! When I'm not in class or at work, I'm either playing a game or on here. Usually when I'm on here, I'm drawing ugly pictures. My schedule is too screwy to allow for going out and doing something. If I do happen to have a free night, I always have a paper due the next day. Speaking of papers, I had one due in Geo yesterday and didn't realize it. I knew about this paper, but I didn't know it was due then. This is yet another fine example of how my brain is not in this semester at all. So, I will try to come up with something tonight and turn it in tomorrow. Fuck. I work at 6am tomorrow, too.

I have been toying with the idea of not going to school this spring. I think I have decided for sure that I will not. I must find a decent job elsewhere in which I can work full time. Something easy. The plan is to fatten up my bank account then run away like a banshee is on my heels. I don't want to think realistically. I do that too much. Instead, let me dwell in fantasy.

There is nothing here for me.

she was, if you don't mind me sayin', an update demon....

Or some jazz.

I just got done playing a game (wow, there's a shocker) with some random people. We were on Hard mode and going up against falz. It was rather funny because only one other guy and myself were able to stay alive after his grantz attack. And we both ran out of moons (for reviving the other two)... then he died, too. So, I went ahead and beat him on my own. ^_^ We went against him twice and moons were strategically dropped by the weaklings so we could revive them when we rean out. Alas, it didn't work. They were just too weak. If you can't take a grantz hit, you might as well lie down and let dark falz molest you.

I really wish I had more people to play with online. Carrying on conversations using icons, word select, and shortcuts is very annoying. VERY. There's a petition out there for Nintendo to hurry up with the NA keyboard. I don't know if it'll help, but it can't hurt. Go here http://www.gckeyboardnow.com/ and sign it, pleeaaaaaaaaseeeeeee. ;_; I will give you oral pleasure in return. But only if the keyboard comes out soon. Heh

/end fangirlism

I have to go to Geography in a lil bit. Joy.

Cable is nice and all, but now I have to face phone calls. >_< damn telemarketers to hell!

Myurrrr.

I need to update my oekaki gallery on my page. Hmm. Maybe I'll do that when I get home.... If I'm not sucked back into PSO. I found another Varista and gave it to one of the newbs that kept dying.

la la la

currently: too lazy to write blink

*listening to Apoptygma Berzerk, Harmonizer*

That cd is highly under-rated by old fans... because most of them failed to realize it is the second phase... as hinted at in the last track on Welcome to Earth. But ANYWAY....

I found a Crush Bullet in that same quest after I posted the last entry. XD Granted, Fyx can't use it because it's a Ranger weapon, but I made a RAmarl so =P

mewph

I really having nothing to write about. Holiday mania is in full force already. This is the time of year when work gets fun, because the time goes by so quickly. I hope I open on the day after Thanksgiving. It's hilarious watching cheapskates fight over shitty products that are on sale. A $30 DVD PLAYER! HOW COULD I POSSIBLE GO WRONG?! bwahahahah.

The absense of Rask makes me sad. I'm trying to distract myself with mundane tasks.

I keep clipping off my nails because I don't have the time to maintain them when they're long (I have to keep them painted, otherwise they'll break right off). How sad is that?

I'll stick with you until the end of the world
I cry out loud, but you hear nothing
I'll wait for you until the end of the world
my dearest treasure torn away

I gotta get some sleep now. I'm off tomorrow, so I get to sleep in XD I LOVE SLEEP. Almost more than foxes... fuzzy widdle brown foxes, but I digress.

I told my mom about the dizzy spells I've been having, and she suggested I see a doctor. I told her the only way she'll get me to see a doctor is if she drags my rotting corpse to a hospital. I'm not too worried about the spells. It could be related to my blood pressure, which is always fine when I check it. But my pulse is still abnormally high. I think it's from smoking. Meh. Slow suicide in the form of a disgusting habit. My dad constantly waggles his finger at me and says, "you're too smart for that shit." ^_^

Toni is having her heart checked out on Weds. Apparently, she's been having spells, too, and passed out in her kitchen not too long ago. Last time I passed out, I was sitting right here. I had been working on something for a while, stretched back... and the next thing I knew, my arms were dangling behind my head and I was staring at the ceiling. I hope nothing's wrong with Toni. The poor girl's been through enough.

MMmyep. Time for beddy-bye.

Allow me this moment of dorkdom. (okay, allow me to live in my dorkdom)

fyxation
current level
48
Varaha evolved into Bhirava... and is now level 150 or so (I think)
new items: DB's Saber and an Inferno Bazooka (dropped by my second Al Rappy encounter)--both found while doing the Heat Sword quest in Hard mode. Am I lucky or what? I've found all my rares in the forest so far. Isn't that odd?

end dork transmission.