currently: bleep

Nar nar nar nar. I work at 6am again. But I took a nap, so I'm okay for now.

=P I give you testicles.

Lady Macbeth

Which woman of Shakespeare are you?
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Out damned spot.

Are you alright? You probably hear that alot even
if you aren't depressed. Smile once in a while,
it's not going to kill you.

How do people see you?
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XP

Nihilist Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Legolas

Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
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Ya damn skippy.

Well, that was fruitful. I think I'll go read now. Contemplate the end of the world; that sort of thing.

Can't sleep. Aliens outside window. Yuki jumping and clinging to the top of cage. Losse sneezing. Clowns will eat me. Clowns will eat me. Clowns will eat me. Have to work at 6am. I think. Vampires talking about paintings clamoring around in my head. Brain 'splody. Brain filled with worry. Brain filled with images of boy in army dress. Images of girls in blue dresses and yellow dresses. Stuffed animals. Tummy hurts. Losse sleeping. Yuki munching. Tummy still hurting. Yuki back to jumping. Computer humming. Morgana munching. Work... so close. >_< All this thinking does me no good. I'll try to sleep now. I will. Short nap before humdrum.

currently:

I haven't had anything to write about. I haven't had anything to say. I did nothing this weekend. My mother came over many times and yacked my ear off. She does this for weeks and weeks until I piss her off one way or another, then she doesn't come over for a few weeks. I think I may have pissed her off today.... we'll see, I guess.

I haven't really spent any time with my friends lately. I need to make it a point to do that.

I also need to make it a point to get my car's brakes fixed this week before I slide off the road and into a ditch. Bleh. $$.

It's strange playing PSO without Larkin/Criid now. He said he'd play again... blah. It's still weird. Earlier, I remembered something Rask used to have shortcutted: "Project Human Shield." =/ That butt had better write to me or something soon.

And so ends another glamorous week in the life of Fyx.

Nyaaa... work was poo. But when is work not poo?

At any rate, I can't get the ratsies to pose for decent pics, so these will have to do for now:

Yuki

Losse

Mmmyep. Yuki would rather explore/run away than stay on my shoulder, and Losse seems to be the perfect perching rat.

I have nothing else worth mentioning. 2:21 am:

Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
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I usually score liberal on these things.

currently: gluhhhh

Sometimes, I think I deserve a trophy for my idiocy. First of all, I had my alarm clock set for 5:15am so that I would have enough time to scrape the snow off of my car. It didn't go off this morning. Instead, my dad woke me up about a quarter til 6. I check the clock, and it is indeed set for the right time.... but mysteriously did not want to go off. I rush out the door and furiously scrape the windshields. Secondly, I'm driving through the slick streets, trying not to slide off the road and into a ditch while meeting every red light possible on the way to work. Lastly, once I get to work--around 6:15--I come to discover that I'm not scheduled. Upon further inspection of the schedule... I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AT 6PM.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am a moron.

All the signs were trying to tell me not to go in... I just ignored them.

Don't worry; I removed myself from the gene pool a long time ago.

In a random fit of tidying (something Pisces are known for--cleaning blizzards out of no where), I found myself dumping out drawers and digging through closets. Like something out of a cartoon, I was throwing garbage over my shoulders as I searched for some small memory.

My rewards? A few bags of clothing even Good Will wouldn't take, a few dozen manuals to electronics that aren't even in the house anymore, tons of film negatives for pictures that are best left forgotten (I threw these out immediately), a heap of trash that filled the kitchen garbage can (which had just been freshly changed before this cleaning storm began), and... the motherload... MY SNES GAMES!

My precious SNES games which I thought my father had thrown out by accident years ago! After carrying my treasure into my dad's den, I exclaimed, "LOOK! LOOK! They live!"

And he said, "Great, we can hook the Super Nintendo up in my room."

What? My Treasure? In your room? I don't think so, buddy.

NEHEHEHE...

Shoot, now I have to go to bed. But I will continue cleaning tomorrow, after work. Who knows what treasures await!

currently: I'm a badass in my own right

I think I've decided not to cancel my Hunters License on PSO. Nevermind that none of my friends are playing. Nevermind that I hate playing with strangers. I didn't spend $102 dollars on a keyboard only to let it collect dust. Hell, I didn't spend $200 on the 'Cube and the game only to watch people become drama queens. Or copulate like dorks and profess their undying love for each other. Though this is highly amusing, I assure you. Add another $35 in for the BB adapter. Gods, I hate you people. It's just a fucking game.

I'm pretty sure that the bug on the PSO servers has been fixed. And if not, and somehow I am unlucky enough to get my memory card corrupted... well, who really cares? It is just a game after all. The worst it could do to me is make me hurl my controller across the room and break a knuckle or two when I punch the wall. Aside from that, no damage would be done.

So, fuck it. I'm going to keep playing and keep giving away all the mats and techs I find. I've always been generous like that. And maybe I'll find new people to play with while I'm waiting for others to pick up their fucking heels.

Mmmyep. It's strange the way PSO can worm its way into your being and demand that kind of attention.

Yuki and Losse, the snowball twins, are sleeping again. I think I'll use the rest of a roll of film on them that's been in my camera for a year. I'm curious to find out what else is on it. And then, I can scan the pics and show you just how cute they are. And you will get googly eyes and be under their spell.

It's as though Rask has disappeared off the face of the planet. Rask, our friends have gone insane.

A'ight, it's time to play some soulsucking PSO, bitch. I wish you were with me. In some sort of cruel self-punishment, the game reminds me of you and makes me miss you more.

You are Raoul Duke. (this one does NOT need an
explanation.)

Which Johnny Depp Are You?
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You are cutting

What Self-Mutilation Are You?
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Hey! I haven't done that in a long time! I'm growing. Yeah, right.

Pedophile's Dream Vampire

What type of vampire are you?
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That's disturbing.

You're A Yaoi Boi (Gay Boy)! Sensitive and caring, you just want some boyXboy
love! Is that too much to ask?

What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
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-_-;

*listening to New Order, Get Ready*

you shock me to the core

Maybe there's something to be said about being a pisces born in the year of the goat. Something about intuition and a feel for people.

Which is probably why most of us end up as fortune-tellers, writers, or artists of some type. I know you better than you know yourself. And you don't even have to open your mouth.

Now, let me tell you something very sad. A relatively new coworker of mine is having quite possibly the shittiest time in his life as I write. His mother has ovarian cancer. She has six months or less to live. And my coworker (we'll call him Frank) has been having seizures lately. Apparently, they've discovered something in his brain. That something being a mass and possible tumor. And this morning, another of my coworkers said that Frank had mentioned trying to kill himself. O_o Frank's said that people in his family are very prone to cancer, and they all die from it eventually.

I don't know Frank on a personal level. Nevertheless, I'm a bit freaked out for him.

You think your life is sucks? Trade places with Frank for six months.

I don't necessarily believe in Karma, but I do believe anything involving life flows in a circular motion. So, whatever you do is bound to come back to you. Only, it'll build up momentum on its way. Sorta like the three fold spell insurance.

I just noticed I have a really nice dent in my leg from running into something last month... I knew it was still bruised but damn. Didn't know it was quite contusion level. Eh, one more notch to add to my collection.

Today's candy heart:
Let's do lunch

These keep getting more lame.

There's blood
Raining from the sky
Split splot.

I've got this overwhelming feeling of disgust growing inside of me. I feel it for all of you and for myself.

Today my candy heart says: "Darling"

*turns on Radiohead, The Bends*

Well, at least the rats are still cute.

fehhhhhhh blahhh. And stuff. Tired of everything. Might go to bed soon. Mmmyep.

don't leave me high
don't leave me dry

Water Goddess. You like peace and serenity and are
usually content with life.

What element would you reign over?
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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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*cough* bullshit *cough*

YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WoODCHUCK!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
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I have no idea what the fuck that means....

You are red. You are impure but noble. You are precious and true to yourself and others. When you love, you love entirely and will do anything to make your love happy. You are sure of your identity; therefore, you cannot change others or be changed. You are a true prince, you may be forgotten, but without you, none of us could go on.

Quiz by Shirono

Iyaa... tasukete! Murr. Kuroiko and Harle both want new diary layouts. >.>

I think I have decided on names for my rat babies. Yuki, which means snow in Japanese and is also the name of the rat boy in Fruits Basket; and Losse(n), which is Tolkien Elvish (Sindarin and Quenya) for snow or snowy.

The problem is... I can hardly tell the difference between them. One is just a fraction smaller than the other and has a slight sniffle... I think she will be Losse, and the bigger one shall be Yuki.

I hope to the gods that they're both female. Yuki is already dominating over Losse, but that sort of thing goes back and forth. If Losse loses her sniffle, I'm going to confuse the two. O_o

I've already had them out for a bit today. I'm training them to be shoulder riders, and they seem to be enjoying themselves. They're back in their cage now, cleaning themselves of filthy human germs ^_^.

I love them already.

Ah... the rest of the day to myself. I think I'll go play Xenogears... or perhaps some PSO before I cancel my HL.

It has been a couple of years since I've had a rat; the last one being Ichabod (female), a very sweet little rat of black coloring with brown eyes.

So, my mother came over today (she's making that a nasty habit), and I got this wild idea up my butt to go look at rats. She called up a Most Valuable Pets that's located in BFE county and asked them if they had any. They did, and we drove out to take a look.

I ended up buying two little whities that are about two months old. They're both female, and I haven't noticed any distinguishing marks between them yet.

I prepped a cage for them as soon as I got home. Right now, they're snuggled up in a corner--porbably worn out from being carried around in a box and stuff. Gods, they're cute. XD

I'll take pictures of them as soon as they get some rest and I hook my webcam up.

Must think of some fitting names....

currently: *insert emotion here*

*listening to VNV Nation, FuturePerfect*

When I was a few years younger than I am now, I had a reoccurring dream about a dawn at which ash rained from the sky. I came to call this the "Ashen Dawn" dream. It disturbed me greatly, and I would often write about it for strangers on message boards, hoping someone could interpret it for me. You see, I'm rather good with dreams, but an explanation for this one escaped me.

After Septemeber 11, 2001... I hated that dream.

When I was around the same age as I had the "Ashen Dawn" dream, I dreamed once about a ball of white light shooting across the sky. It left me paralyzed as it passed.

My mother called and woke me up this morning, telling me that the space shuttle Columbia had blown up upon entering our atmosphere. I stumbled out of bed and toward the den, sluggishly turning on the TV. And what did I see? A ball of white light streaking across the most perfect of blue skies.

I hate my fucking dreams.

I spent a few hours in front of the TV, sewing catnip toys and eating lunch as astronauts lamented the loss of their brothers and sisters and a heap of metal that used to be an orbiter.

Then, I went to my mother's house. I put up mini-blinds for her, and she ordered us Chinese Food. I stared blankly into nothing, and she talked about my brother for a couple of hours. I gave two of the catnip toys to her cats and walked her dog once. She unloaded some useless junk on me. Two lamps, two journals, and a pack of post cards with cats on them. The lamps probably don't even work. They're missing their little turn switches. As I was leaving, my arms now completely full, she gave a semi-attempt-at a hug. "Thanks for putting up the mini-blinds," she said.
"Thanks for dinner," I said.

My generosity is tapped, and I'm still staring blankly at nothing.

Oh, and my fortune cookie said:
"Your present plans are going to succeed."

(in bed)

I had an entry about a lot of stuff... and then I accidently left the page and it all disappeared. Fuck me.

you never will see it
you never will know it
you never will feel it
and where did you go

open up your eyes

Gods, I wish I had something happy to write about for once. I keep letting fantasy tease my brain and quickly smother it out.

Where is the light? Are my eyes closed? Fuck it all, when am I gonna know?

I think I'll go read some Vasquez and call it a night. Fuck Friday in the ear.

currently: ribbit

*listening to Poe, Hello*

are you out there?

Yesterday, I went to bed around 6pm. I woke up twice to go to the bathroom but aside from that, I slept until 5am.

I don't know what's wrong with me. ^_^

Yes, I do.

And today, my candy heart says:
"My boyfriend"

Well, that's laughable. AHAHAHahahaha. Cheese.

Again, I have the weekend off. This is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because I get to sleep late. A curse, because I'm left with my own thoughts--never a good thing.

And I don't feel like doing anything right now.

The only people I play PSO with have both cancelled their hunter licenses. I haven't played in several days because 1)there's a bug that randomly corrupts people's memory cards and causes characters to be unretrievable and 2)it reminds me too much of some people that made me want the game in the first place.

So, I should finish Kingdom Hearts. All I need to do is level up my characters, but that's so boring. BORING BORING BORING. I tried to play a couple days ago, but that didn't last. So, I've been catching up on anime that's been lying around... or buying new ones to amuse myself with. Sad.

I was side-tracked there for a while. But I'm back on my well-tread and true path, my children. I am the untouchable. For some reason, I want to go watch What Dreams May Come and sob like an infant. Maybe later. It's not easy to stare into your navel and see the horror that you are. None of us are good people. Not a single one. It didn't take an original sin to make us all fuckheads, either.

there's no need to drive yourself so crazy

I think I'll go lie in my own voodoo now.