Slightly better graphics card purchased today. Hurrah. Still not super-duper graphics card of doom, but then, I only play one or two games on the computer.

Anyone want my old GeForce2 32mb? I have the software and everything. :P

Bleh... After the holidays, I think I'll look for another job. Of course, that's a terrible time since all places will be letting their holiday help go and not hiring. Don't spoil my dreams, man! ._. Fuck my job in all it's unlubed orifices.

In addition to this stress, I must re-apply to college and finish up some sort of degree thing. Degree in what? Massive bullshitting? Brow-beating? General whining!? Gods, how I hate school. The learning part is good; the "meet these requirements and take these pointless classes" part I could do without. I'm not even sure what credits I need for an AA. I think I need a science, math, and history and that's it. AND THEN WHAT? UK? *shudder*

I think I'll go vent my frustrations on some poor Orcs now. And test out my graphics card. Huzzah.

So... Day off flew by. Haven't done anything all day, though. That's quite nice but quite depressing at the same time. For the most part, I do nothing in my spare time worthy of being written down. I get asked a lot why I don't do things, "get out more." Honestly, my type of getting out wouldn't even be considered "getting out" in this age.

I want to go where there are no people, or at least very few of them. No bar or pub has any sparkle for me. No club rings of fond memories. Maybe I just don't drink enough. Heh. While some people dread being home and alone, I welcome the situation with a furtive grin and a cigar.

Toni was saying to me as we were lounging in the condo, "We need to go out more and do stuff. Take more trips." And there are so many places to go. The only trouble is finding the time to do those things. So, where are we going to go first? How's Red River Gorge sound? Nevermind the occasional used condom decorating the ground. It's outdoors.

Yes, yes. I do believe I'll look into that place.

That's it. Wolfy, I want a picture of you to carry in my wallet. I will tell people that you are my big, burly boyfriend. No more gross, icky flirtations from coworkers. >_<

Of course, any of my other big, male friends are welcome to donate to my cause, too. BLEH.

And now... sleep. -_-zzZzZZZ

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nerdslut

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

I think I've taken this quiz before, but I got a different result this time. NERDSLUT?

>.>

Sub woofer rattling the walls. Eyes closed as I type. Ad I know this is going to be bad, but i won't fix it. I am just tired. These five AM shifts are going to kill me. They started early this year. :/ stupid worky poo poo. I'm lost and the shadows keep on changing. Don't cry.... there's always a way. I'll always need you. I'll always love you. And I will always miss you. Seashells to remind me of home. Where is home? where you are. With a rose quartz close to my heart. coupled with violent tendencies. Comb my hair. tell me it's all going to be okay. open your eyes. where did tomorrow go?

Today's Rant:

People who go out of their way to put down something you're interested in!

You know who I'm talking about. You might even be one.

Say, you're having idle conversation with someone and you say, "Ah, I like the Playstation 2," and before this someone takes the few nano-seconds to process this and think of a proper response they say something overly stupid.

"Fuck the PS2. It sucks ass."

...Usually when this happens, I want to drop kick the person's head. I mean, how the fuck do you respond to this? "My, you've made a valid point. I shall go home and break my PS2. How silly of me to express my interest in it. Is there anything else you hate which I should now hate as well?"

When someone tells me that they like a certain group, artist, game, console, etc, I don't go out of my way to tell them how I feel about it unless I'm arguing a worthy point. Like what you want to like, for I don't give a fuck. Do the people who talk shit about what you or I are interested in actually think them saying something like, "that sucks," is going to somehow affect our opinion? It's useless to debate with people who make statements like that. It's as though they were born to be assholes and wouldn't recognize diplomacy if it bit them on the ass. Is it really so hard to say, "I don't like so and so, and this is why...?"

Fuck you morons in the ear.

This has become a rampant disease in anyone 25 or younger. I've probably done it few times. But I'll always correct myself and explain why I don't like something. On the negative side, I've started avoiding conversations about things I like because I simply don't want to hear shit like, "blah blah that's lame blah blah." I like what I like; if you don't like it, yippy.

*sigh* When all else fails, there's nothing like the old STFU.

currently: Shoot that poisoned arrow

*listening to Coldplay, "Clocks"*

I lied, Daniel. I'll go to bed in a few. :o

Isn't it funny how the heart can hang on, tooth and nail, to what it wants even when what it wants is bad for it? Okay, that's not really funny so much as sad. Anyhow, I'm still prying my heart away from some old idea of love. She's a stubborn bitch, so it hasn't been easy.

Heart: "Whattaya mean he doesn't love us anymore? LIES! ALL LIES!!!111oneone"

Brain: "You're an idiot. You know that, right?"

Whoa... abandonment issues. ^_^

At any rate, I know that some part of me is always going to suppress bad shit. But you know something? I don't give a fuck. We're all messed up. Cry me a river. So what if I want so badly to trust people but can't cuz they've fuct me over before? Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.

*Covenant, "Stalker" comes on... followed by Nine Inch Nails, "Deep"*

I guess that's part of being human. We say, "Aww fuck it; I give up." But we never really give up. Always seeking something better. Maybe goodness is around the corner if you just take a couple more steps.

Holy shit, I wrote something optimistic. Oh, god, is that a meteor? *splode*

Fyx's skeleton: "You were saying?"

Time for a shower.

Without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to Fyxation, the 2003 model:

Thanks to Square/Enix for making it a pain in the butt to retrieve screenshots. You have to mail them to yourself from the playonline mailer. Uh... 'K.

Happy Hallowe'en, my sugar-faced friends. Hope you all have better plans than I do. I have to work at 6am, so I can't really do anything even if I had something to do. Maybe my PSO people will try challenge 9 again tonight. We've tanked it about 4 times now. XD I keep dying the most. *whimper* If I could just get a fucking resta, I'd be set. At least we made it to Falz last night.

Decided not to dress up for work. It woulda been fun but pointless since I was off at 10am.

Deposited my entire paycheck to make up for my crazy spending. :( Lotta good that does since I'm debit crazy.

Woohoo. My Elvaan chick is level 3. And I figured out how to navigate. Now I'm going to read through the manual for tips cuz I suck at PC gaming. ^_^ /dorkiness

Maybe I'll watch some Forever Knight. Mmmm... or some of my anime that's piled up. Ooo.

I am such a lazy moo.

Right. So. Samhain is my favorite holiday. It's a shame that I can't do something. I'm listening to a program on the History channel (TV's on in the den) about the history of Halloween and how the Christians completely corrupted and twisted it for their own purposes. Hurray for Christians! Of course, I knew all this stuff already, but it's interesting to see on TV. You don't often see Christians painted in a bad light. HEEE. I likes it.

I've had far too much sugar in the last two weeks and become addicted to carbs again. Urf. Gimme a steak.

And now... nap time.

Oh, I forgot to add....
The noob that was hitting on me at work got fired today. ^_____^

My nut is appeased.

Whoa... just... whoa.

Final Fantasy XI is nuts. It's a lot more than I'm used to, but I'm getting the hang of it. I'm such a console whore that using the keyboard feels alien to me. I decided to make an Elf Chick instead of a Mithra. I wish I could take a screenshot =( I named her Fyxation, of course, and she has red hair. ^_^

*turns on Winamp and Coldplay stirs*

I did have to install my GeForce2. That took all of five minutes, but then fixing my display settings was a 15 minute issue. >.> Damn thing kept wanting to act like I had two monitors. Ah, well. All fixed. /geekiness

Yeeha... level 2 XD I was wandering around so lost and decided to wander around lost-like with another lost person. Yay. We made a party. And a Wild Hare killed me. >=( But over all... here are my thoughts on the game thus far: it's pretty intimidating at first, but the menus are easy to use. I just need to get the hang of using a keyboard. Wonder if a controller is even compatible. Hrmm. The graphics are fabu. They definately have a new FF style but have the old FF flare. And, god, the lil mages are so cute I want to eat their heads off.

Hmm.... Dooot deee dooo.

I have short shifts both Friday and Saturday. :D That means more time to fuck around on the games. Yay.

currently: Giddy

*listening to the hum of my hard drive and Fischerspooner*

I'm installing FFXI right now. It's about 50% done, but I haven't patched yet. I wonder if I'll need to install my GeForce card into the new computer. Probably. Bweee... I had to buy the game at Funcoland (last copy--woohoo), because it never came in at work. (Crap, I just remembered that I'd intended to buy Noir 7 today... and forgot it.) Then, I went to Hel*Mart in search of dark lipstick and Halloween candy.

Getting fewer and fewer trick-or-treaters every year. It's rather depressing. When I was a kid, there were swarms of children going from door to door. I'm lucky if I see ten trick-or-treaters now. =( So sad.

This morning, as I was leaving the house for work, I looked up at the sky. I do that from time to time just to admire the clouds or stars. Well, I saw something pretty rare this morning. Just by shear chance. I'll not write what. I feel lucky just having seen it. ^_^

Gah... spent so much money these last couple of weeks. Tomorrow's payday, too.

Installation's almost done. Woohoo! That was fairly painless. :o

Now, who out there is going to play with me? =( Don't make me pout.... I can make a blind man tapdance on a tightrope with my pout; it ain't pretty.

Installing expansion pack now. *hugs computer* You're such a good girl! Yes you are! Wow... pretty Amano art. *drool* ZOOOOOOMMMMM... done.

Between PSO and this game... (and I still have RO now and then), I will have no social life. Not that I had much before. Damn people and their filthy touchiness. =D

I didn't feel like fixing all the livejournal links, so don't click on them. =P

A pen cap? Gee, thanks!

Mmm urea flavored cigs.

My mom was just here. I'm still wiping the glaze from my eyes. "Blah blah blah Jamie blah blah blah." And she wants me to right this story for the paper in which I can use only the words provided in the article's illustration. The prize is 25 bucks. Give me a fucking break, man. The words are really lame, too.

Hmm. Tummy ache. Urgle...

Have to work tomorrow. The bastards tried to call me in yesterday, and I basically told them, "Fuck off. I'm still on vacation." Wish I could win the lottery and be done with that crap forever. Of course, I can't win if I don't buy tickets.

Can we go back to a better time?

Right, so... Coco Beach. Lotsa sun. Lotsa beach. Lotsa shopping for trinkets made my sweat shop workers in the Philippines. Lotsa junk food. Lotsa vodka. ^_^

Nothing monumental to write except I did like getting away from my life for a while. We watched a bunch of movies I'd brought and some Forever Knight. Mmm Nick Knight. Went to the beach nearly every day.

Something about the ocean calls to me. Guess it must be that whole pisces/water element thing. I could do without the heat, though. I can only take so much sun before I start getting grumpy.

Heh... I was talking to Rurisho earlier (after many hassles with figuring out how to make international phone calls with my phone card) and he fell asleep. XD Dope. Mrow...

I need sleep.

I'm back from Coco Beach. I'll write more on that later... Just thought I'd drop a note to announce my return.

I feel land-sick... woosh woosh

*listening to Maroon 5, "Harder to Breathe"--this song rocks on my stereo woooo*

BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I bought Forever Knight Box Set I XD XD XD XD

And 28 Days Later. =D

Um... I have a weakness for my pop culture. ._. Forever Knight is the shizzit, tho. It was expensive, too, but I saved 20 bucks on it. :o

And now... I have errands to run. BOOO.

I ripped this from Kuroiko's blog, because it looked so fun!

So, I went to work this morning and was paired up with a noob to train. Said noob seems jovial and an alright guy... and then I start to train him. He talks over everything I'm telling him. Talking turns to flirting and gets worse and worse until I want to crawl away and hide under a CD rack or karate kick him in the nuts. >_<

So, for a few minutes, I'm putting up with it, glancing over his work. I wouldn't really say he was working at all, for he was too busy asking me if I was dating anyone and what my age range was. ("Do you date up or down? How old are you? Got a boyfriend? What's your AIM screen name?" Etc.) Finally, I tell him to stay put, and I run to my other coworkers for help. Harrassment boy (the one I've mentioned in previous entries) pulls noob away to do something else. YAY!

Later, harrassment boy calls me a pimp. Says another guy likes me, too (which I just don't see, but whatever).

All I can say is WHAT THE FUCK?

._. I really am flypaper for freaks. Maybe I should just tell people I'm a lesbian as it's easier explaining than celibacy and general weirdness.