You belong in the world of leaves and trees, where
the wilderness can claim your soul. Somewhere
like a jungle or a thick wooded forest would be
your world. Intensely in tune with nature, you
feel the world belongs to the natural ways that
once ruled the planet. Be yourself, and
everything will work out. Don't let the grind
of the city destroy your free-as-a-bird nature.

Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
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cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
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I think I've taken that one before.

You're: Angry eyes. Chill out, dude! No need to be so pissed! Sure, life's tough but you gotta deal. You're one hell of an ass-kicker and never let anyone get close to you.

What type of eyes do you have?
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I also got Angelic Wings on one of those other quiz things, but I lost the cut.

:P

In another life, I married my high school sweetheart. We had a kid three years later and a divorce two years after that.

In another life, I dropped out of high school and was kicked out of my house at the age of 15.

In another life, I was raped while tripping the light fantastic and had a baby eight months later.

In another life, I killed myself and left my boyfriend to find my pale corpse in the bathtub.

In another life, I graduated college with a useful degree. My girlfriend was so proud.

In another life, I moved across the country to pursue my dreams and ended up a prostitute.

In another life, I was an alcoholic and ran over a kid on my way to work one fine morning.

In another life, I became an exotic dancer/dominatrix and was quite good at it.

In another life, I was an Olympic swimmer. I never really got a real job.

In another life, I was the virgin mother of the anti-christ.

In another life, I joined the Navy and moved to Japan for several years. I never went home.

In another life, I fell in love with an acrobat and ran away with the circus.

In another life, my car rolled off a cliff. I died in the instantly crushed cab but floated out of it eager to find someone.

In another life, I reclined on pianos while singing bar songs to old rich guys.

In another life, I directed low-budget movies that never graced the silverscreen.

In another life, I was happy without the aid of drugs. People found me annoying.

In another life, people actually listened to me.

In another life, I was sold into white slavery.

In another life, I lived in a cabin and painted nature crap all day.

In another life, I was a bride of god.

In another life, I broke men's hearts for fun.

In another life, I was schizophrenic. The conversations I had with walls were more stimulating than with people.

In another life, I never spoke to anyone.

In another life, I was in a horrible accident, and no one spoke to me.

In another life, I met the man of my dreams. He took the kids and left me for a younger woman.

In another life, I fell asleep one day and never woke up.

In another life, I was burned at the stake for having red hair.

In another life, I wrote novels for a living. My books were pure tripe.

In another life, I disappeared. No one really noticed.

It's so quiet. I don't have any music on. The only sounds I hear are from my computer and the faint whirring of my space heater. I wish I could fix everything with a bottle of Crown Royal and a stash of Mary Jane. Mmm, I wish I could think about something else.

dejavudejavudejavudejavudejavu

You are Louis, too sweet and kind to be a vampire,
but you do what you must. You often question
your existance, because you have such a deep
soul. Or perhaps you're just bored? You like to
light things on fire.

Which Interview With the Vampire Character Are You?
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Well, duh.

You're a MYSTIC! A mystic needs basic information
to interpret the story or plot. You carry
characteristics of both plotters and pantsers,
and therefore you may have been unsure about
your writing personality. You may write a
chapter or two to get the story going, and then
write a very basic synopsis or outline of major
plot events. Nothing is set in stone. You
allow your intuition and inspiration to guide
you. You may stick to a steady schedule, or
you may write in bursts. Most mystics write
with a fair amount of regularity--not every
day, but maybe the same days of the week seem
to work best for you. You may revise the
previous days writing before continuing on with
new prose. Mystics carry the best
characteristics of both plotting and pantsing.
You are committed, but flexible. You are
creative, but organized. You have both a good
voice, and the grammatical skill to pull off a
great novel.

Find Your Writing Personality!!
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Uh... 'kay.

*listening to Conjure One*

I forgot what I was going to write. Hrmm. I don't have anything.

Bry came over and dropped off the present she got me. My stupid ass already had gotten Full Metal Panic 5... when I thought I'd gotten 6 & 7 and missed 5. Luckily, I still have my receipt.

Hmm on the phone with Justin W. now.

Long freakin' time later....

Wow, my ear hurts. That was awfully nice of him. :o (my ear is such a slut)

*Conjure One ended long ago, and Delerium is on now O_o... no, wait, that's over, too. Sigur Ros is on now.*

So, yeah, it's my birthday. Happy Birthday to me. Sadly, I've been unable to think about anything but this one unnerving thing. >_< Having your mind focused on one thing sucks wang.

Ohh now Toni calls me... I'll stop writing now. PEOPLE LOVE ME.

._.

*listening to Nine Inch Nails, The Fragile*

My mom called just as I stepped out of the shower. Currently waiting for her to call back. Too lazy to call her.

Today's been pretty shitty. Nothing bad has happened, I just feel like someone threw a brick at my head. I should have gotten my driver's license renewed today. Didn't wanna go out.

I have to work tomorrow morning. And Friday morning. And Saturday night. I'll celebrate my birth when I'm dead, I guess.

Pfft. I don't care that much about my birthday, really. It's the thoughts surrounding it that are pure crap. The people who are supposed to be important to me. The people that I love. Love. Right. Here, hold this giant basket of bullshit while I get the cart and the mule.

I am so cheerful :)

Hurray for chemical rollercoasters.

I've been writing a lot lately; I scribble in my diary (the paper one) just trying to get out all the crap in my head. It doesn't really help. On my pillow, the thoughts kick and yell as I toss and turn. Rarrr.

I need a lullaby.

*listening to Sigur Ros*

So, I feel like it's happening again... I feel like hope's dwindled. I dunno. I'm probably just insecure. Or maybe I'm right, and just like the wolf said, I'm being strung along.

Oh, well, I'd rather not think about it.

Sadly, whatever optimism I had there for a while has sputtered out. It's funny, though. I haven't had the birthday blues as badly this year as I usually do. Haven't had the time to think about it really, and I've been keeping myself occuppied with trivial shit. I never just sit and think, anymore. I never allow myself that. I'm afraid of what I might tell myself. Haha.

I need a sabbatical. I need to sit on a mountain somewhere and have a vision. Let my bare feet dig into the soil and my fingers brush through wild grass. Spring can't come soon enough.

My dad doesn't know how old I am. ;_;

Fuckhead.

He actually said to me, "This year your birthday will be one of a kind; you'll be 26 on the 26th."

...
...
...
...
I stared at him blankly for a few seconds before he asked, "You were born in '78, right?"

All I answered was, "No."

Now, I don't care what sort of excuse you could come up with for this... whether it be the "male brain" or old age or spiders biting the inside of your ass. How do you forget when you had a kid?

I'll be twenty-five, Daddy. TWENTY-FIVE. 25 25 25 25 25. You fucking ass.

Don't get me wrong. I love my dad.... he's just incredibly stupid :D

Note to self:
Another reason not to have kids... One day, you'll be incredibly stupid.

I'm surprised he remembered the right day.

I thought I'd write about work, and how it's sucking me dry in some way that's difficult to describe.

Maybe I've just been in the same place too long. I'm sick of the management circus. Sick of the corporate bullshit. Sick of the twisted ethics. Maybe I'm bored.

I'm not even particularly upset with anything at work right now. Yet every time I wake up and have to go to work, I'm dragging my heals, swearing, throwing on my uniform, brushing my hair in the car (barely), grimacing so hard that I have a permanent furrow between my eyebrows... etc. etc. And I'm usually 5-10 minutes late.

I've been thinking about quitting. In my entire department, I've been there the longest. All the others have left or are in the process of leaving. I can't stomach the thought of being left behind with all these half-assed-trained fucktards. That means the expectations on me are quadrupled. Fuck pressure. I don't get paid enough for that.

If I quit... what'll I do? I could easily sit on my ass and pay rent and car insurance and my other bills for a few weeks if I wanted, but I'd still eventually have to find work. Something part time that would function around a school schedule (when I go back this summer or fall). I hate thinking about it. That's why I've stayed at my current shit job of almost five years.

Today, I actually hugged one of my male coworker (obnoxious flirt) friends. I was just glad to see that he was there and he'd protect me from creepy guy. That's plain old sad. I would almost say, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend," but that's not really the case here. I'm more used to the obnoxious flirt and know him... whereas creepy guy is just, well, creepy.

I have to get out of that place. It's not healthy. I'm losing what little mind I have left.

The last few weeks, I've been rather lonely. I find myself sitting and staring off if something's not holding my absolute attention. I'm just restless.

Hunger Comfort Hygiene Energy Fun Social Bladder Room Style

Reach for the lasers with Antic's Sims-ulator!

HAHAHAHA.... that's awesome.

*scratches self*

Step 1: Open your MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing

1. Apoptygma Berzerk--"Mourn" (lh remix)
2. Tori Amos--"Wrapped Around Your Finger"
3. Econoline Crush--"Trash"
4. Weiss Kreutz--"Instant Karma"
5. The Cars--"Drive"
6. Rurouni Kenshin (something from the soundtrack)
7. Maaya Sakamoto--"Yakusoku wa iranai" (from Escaflowne)
8. Frank Sinatra--"The Way You Look Tonight"
9. Filter--"One is the Loneliest Number"
10. Orbital--"The Box"

O_o *twitch twitch*

What Famous Leader Are You?

Um...k!

What Classic Movie Are You?

LAME!

It's my day off. Yesterday, I blew 100+ bucks on CD's and DVD's. I don't feel that much better for it.

I did find the Lords of Acid Voodoo U CD with uncensored lesbian demons fondling each other. I know he's been looking for that forever, but I'll probably keep it for myself. Dunno. His birthday is coming up. Nah... I'm greedy.

Also got Sigur Ros' Agaetis Byrjun, Conjure One, Witch Hunter Robin box (with the shotglass and soundtrack and stuff), Full Metal Panic 7 (though I still don't have 5 -_-), and the latest Saiyuki. Not that I have time to watch any of that stuff. But I did listen to all the CD's. And Sigur Ros is playing again right now. Woohoo my consumer whoring should be satisfied for a while.

Look at the time. I'm still not dressed. Pfft pants are over-rated.

>_< Back owies.

*listening to Delerium, the "Truly" single*

My work schedule's been fucked all to hell this week :D JOY MURDER.

Slight electrocution at the hands of a Gamecube at work... but I LIVE.

Uh. So, I voted today. Did my civic duty; what more do you want from me?

I really can't type today. The backspace key has become my intimate friend.

I swiped this idea from Lonely Fox:

Another interesting page can be read here spirit of tiger. It had some interesting info... but too much to cut and paste.

In other boring information, I think I'll let my hair grow out. It's easier to control once it's down to my shoulders, at least. Hurray for pigtails. >.>

I think I'll reserve my LJ for game related crap only. I'll put a link up for it, eventually. Then, you won't have to be bored to tears with my FFXI rants. :D That's good, no?

Murrrrt

My back fucking hurts. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHh. Goddammit. >_< Maybe I need a new bed or something. And I misplaced my knee brace. I don't even remember aggravating my knee again; it just started hurting on its own a while ago, the little bitch. T_T

Rarrr

...

FFXI: Merenwen the mule made 7k last night. Sweet. Sent it to Fyxation this morning. Fyxation's now lvl

I had this awful dream about Creepy Coworker. I'll not go into details, for that might permanently embed it in my head. Urf. Gross.

FFXI: Merenwen the mule made 7k last night. Sweet. Sent it to Fyxation this morning.

Fyxation:
Warrior 29
White Mage 29
Paladin 18
Monk 12
Thief 6
Black Mage 3
Red Mage 2

Once I get either WAR or WHM up to 30, I'll go get some other advanced jobs. Maybe Bard or Ninja or Ranger. Hmm. But I'm happy with Paladin right now. I am ubertank!

Valentine's Stomp. An old holiday from celtic times. Objective: gather all the womenfolk into the center of town, then rape every last one of them.

Happy Valentine's Day. May each of you commercial/bastardized-holiday-celebrating morons get candy and roses.

<3<3<3
Fyx

PS. I'm in love; I don't need a candy heart to remind me of that.

Somehow, I'm going to get away from weirdos at work... if I have to beat them to death with four year old twinkies. This morning, I was bugging my dad at work that I wanted FFCC for my birthday (wishful thinking, on my part), and one of my coworkers overheard me.

"When's your birthday?"

Oh, god... make something up. Anything! Don't answer him. RUN AWAY!

"The 26th." Dammit.

"Oh, are you doing anything?"

Cleaning. Taking a trip to Tahiti. Polishing your collection of human femurs. SAY THAT YOU HAVE PLANS.

"I never do anything for my birthday." YOU MORON.

"Oh, I should throw you a party then."

"No... no." Well, finally you said something that made sense.

"Awww why not? I'm gonna get you something... etc etc"

"No, really, it's okay." Now go away.

"How about I take you out to dinner?"

FUCK.

"Um... I'll think about it."

Yep, now my stupid ass has to think of some excuse not to go out to dinner with this dude even though he's just being nice. (Right... nice and desperate).

/cry

I'm off for two days. WOOT. I went to bed last night at 8:30 and got up at 5:30am. >.> Oops. I was sleepy. Murr. And I had a mildly sexual dream. No actual sex, just innuendo and crawling around.... I'll shutup now.

Sometimes, I don't remember ever being different, though I know I once was. And I wonder why I became the person I am today. Other times, I curse the past or spit on its memory. I guess we all have our bitter reflections or our joyful ones.

What am I on about now?

I don't remember. I play FFXI too much. Sorta like I used to play PSO. It's sad, the game addiction... It's not like Evercrack or something which will make me quit my job, leave my family... sell on e-bay. No, I just find myself drawn to the game more than watching DVD's, reading, whatever. Eheh...

Toni and I are supposed to start doing stuff when the weather warms up (in, say, March or April). Hopefully, we'll get to go to all those beautiful parks I went to as a kid. Natural Bridge, Cumberland Falls, Mammoth Cave. Murr.

And now, reach inside. Turn yourself inside out. A sharktooth hanging from my neck. An Elven archer knocks his bow. Sticky vitamin E in a 1 oz. bottle begs to be opened and explored. Other things in sight demanding to be touched. My chest feels tight today. Maybe I'm getting sick. Maybe there's an incubus sitting on it.

If Rhett weren't singing me a sad song right now, I might not be staring so intently into the air particles before me.

I need earrings.

la la la come around...