*currently listening to haujobb's boom operator*

I fall.

Backwards, so I can't see where I'm going.

I know there's a bottom, but I don't know when I'll reach it.

I spread my arms out and feel the air stream through my fingers.

The last thing I'll remember.

____

I work in the morning and have yet another lit paper due in class later.

As usual, I'm putting it off 'til I get off work tomorrow.

I think a heavy spell of depression is about to fall on me. Not that I'm ever really out of depression... it just gets worse some times. I hate feeling sorry for myself. ughhhh.... so pathetic.

I turn up the music and let it grip my hands and pull me up to my feet.

And for a moment, everything else seems so little or far away.

If I could keep this feeling when the music stops, I know I'd keep things in perspective.

But I can't, and everything is so close and overwhelming. OVERWHELMING.

Can't breathe.

No breath to scream.