mwhahahaha. It's so true!

I've been up since 5am... or 4am... I've been waking up then GRRRR. And I worked at 6, so it was nigh impossible to get back to sleep. Fuck.

I've been cussing up a storm today for some odd reason. I'm not particularly pissed off, I just feel really psychotic. It sounds like Jay at the end of Dogma when he goes into his "fuck" rant.

I saw Time Machine today. Eh.... it was somewhat dry and had enormous, gaping plot holes. That aside, it was decent eye candy.

I want to go to sleep, but if I indulge then I'll wake up at some funky fuct up time when no living creature should be awake..... and then a few hours later, I'd have to go to work. BLARGH.

There are days that I want to curl up and not leave the house because I don't want the world to see my stupidity! Being a complete moron is tiring. The strain of realizing you're a fool and everyone around you is somehow smarter than you... well, it isn't exactly encouraging. But I'm here, dammit. Even if I don't have anything inspiring to offer up, you've gotta sit there and take it. Roll your eyes if you must. I would.

Who ever said we have to do something important? I'm not accepting that space race progress of humanity bullshit we've been force-feeding each other longer than we care to remember. Isn't it enough that I'm alive and breathing? Isn't that amazing enough? No? Fuck you.

That's about as much as I can offer, and if this species isn't resigned with that fact, then this species can kiss my ass! I'm no longer human. I'm Fyx. I'm just another consciousness floating around. Pardon me, while I drift in and out of your present electrical synapses. I promise not to interfere with your precious material life.

Don't mind me. Fucking idiot babble.

Did you know that in the Spiderman movie, Peter Parker actually has silk webs shoot out of his hands....? Technically, in the comic he's a chemist so he makes up the web shooter stuff and attatches it to his wrists, periodically refilling when necessary. And isn't it kinda stupid in the movie since if he could make silk it should come out of his ass? *imagines this* eww... "I shall smite my foes with butt webbing!" That's not right.

*paranoid moment* what the fuck are you looking at? grrrr

Should anyone ever attempt to use me again, they should first prepare themselves.
Recommended Preparations:

• make a noose
• practice wrecking into a wall at 120mph
• sleep outside in below freezing temp for three weeks
• walk around naked in public with a large pink target spray-painted on your ass
• pick a deity and pray
• see that torture near the top of this entry? Pick up a meat tenderizer and beat yourself with it to warm up for the main course.

No, my eyes are open now. No one's gonna put me in their pocket. I won't be manipulated.

Despite what you might be thinking at this point, I'm not in a bad mood. I chatted with Kristen for a bit last night and actually got some old splinters out of my hide. She and I used to share a common torment. Now, we both smirk at the past.

I should wrap this up, ya?

this place feels so unfamiliar, and yet i know it well. i think i used to belong here, but the only way i can tell is that i miss you still, and I cannot find you here. you left me tattered and torn. just like that sweet spanish doll. i went down to the alleyway and found that you were gone. you left no word, no message. i still don't know exactly what went wrong. now no matter where i go i always seem to return to where you left me tattered and torn just like that sweet spanish doll. memory guilded in red and gold. beauty guarded and never sold. i keep it with me wherever i go. and i love you still no matter how the story will unfold. know I always will have part of you here in this souvineir. a stranger in this world without you is all that i can ever be. all i know that's pure and clear you left it with me here in this souvineir. spanish... sweet spanish doll. ~Poe, "Spanish Doll"