currently: just don't ask

*listening to various mp3s*

It is in my nature to question and doubt everything good in my life.

For a fleeting moment, I can taste just a little bit of happiness... yet after it's swallowed, bitterness fills my mouth.

*Prince's "Purple Rain" comes on*

How fitting.

I sit here, time and time again, and I wonder, "Does distance make the heart grow fonder?" Surely not. Memory makes the heart grow fonder. Separation makes it rot. All that's beautiful spoils if neglected.

*Begin Apop's "Kathy's Song" (Ferry Corsten's mix)*

Reality, you're a real bitch sometimes.

And YOU... I don't want anything from you. What's wrong? Rip the fucking band-aid off, already. I can't stand drama. This is driving me crazy. What will your excuse be today, I wonder?

I am free for now. Turn the music up loud. Stretch your arms in the air. Pop your spine by twisting in your chair and rotating your shoulders. Loose enough now? Wipe that smug grin off your face. I'm about to unleash all that is Fyx. Well, in just a flash.

not what you think. not what you want. not anything you could ever imagine. not today. not what you presume. not your ideal. not what you expect. not how you need. not your fall-back plan. not your heart's desire. not to be used. not innocent. not naive. not for you. not sweet. not cute. not in love. not now. not ever.