currently:

*listening to Funker Vogt, t*

OI. I couldn't sleep last night, so I actually had breakfast before I went to work. Then, the manager was late, so I sat in my car for an hour. When work was finally over, I came home and fucked around for a little while. Worked on Toni's present, had lunch, etc etc.
Around 2:30, I went to bed. It took me a while to get to sleep because I kept thinking about pain.

When I see, hear, or just know someone's in pain, my tummy tightens up and my head gets very heavy. It's usually more so with children... (like, I was watching Dateline the other day and it showed photos of this baby girl's beaten lil' body---I almost started crying and had to curl up in a ball on the couch saying, "Oh... unn... oh... gawd," just to stop myself. )

I'm fine with my own pain. It's an annoyance, if anything, but I can deal with it. When it's someone else's, however, a switch inside me flips and makes me feel soooo bad. I'm not sure if it's sympathy or not.

Last night, I got to hear Rask while his shoulder dislocated and he forced it back into place. He told me not to worry about it since it happens often. But, hell, how can I not think about it when= 1)I've dislocated my shoulder a few times so I know how awful it feels, 2)the sounds he made were enough to make me want to cry even now, 3)it's Rask... the thought of him in pain WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh.. NO NO NO. GRRRRRR!

He says I get this way because I'm so kind-hearted. =/ pah.

*puts in Marilyn Manson, Antichrist Superstar*

I'm not kind-hearted... I'm overly sensitive to the point that it drives me insane. I'm always worried about others... which in itself is fucking odd, because I hate most people.

Maybe it's part of being a pisces, maybe it's just who I am. Which ever the case, it's a damn hindrance. Having to feel what other people are feeling GRRRRrrrr I don't like it. It doesn't help anyone.

Exhaustion set in, and I finally slept. Tears dried. I woke up around 8pm. I'm still tired, but I'm staying up a little bit so I can sleep well through the night. I work at 6am again.

I plan on getting a few things done this week.... we'll see how that goes......... murr.