currently: dansu dansu

*listening to Covenant's "Like Tears in Rain"*

And lo, the heavenly father did arise and said, "I bring you chocolate eggs."
The world said, "Uh... okay... we were sorta hoping for world peace, but chocolate's good."

I'm feeling much better. I think all I needed was sleep. And I'm in a very funky writing mood, bear with me.

Need water.

My stereo and I are bonding. I think I'll start a relationship with him. He's cute, wears all black, and likes my music.

Rask-fox says I'll find other foxes someday. I don't want other foxes. That I need him is a miracle enough, wouldn't you say? I, the one that has sworn off love and most of the specifics of being human, have attached myself like a leech to another human. Oh, well, the better part of me knows it can't last forever. The other part wants it to.

and what costume shall the poor girl wear to all tomorrow's parties?

This has been a fuct up year. It's not even half way over. -__-

Ya know, I keep getting the feeling that people have completely the wrong idea of what my relationship with Justin was. How the fuck anyone could see more in it than what it was, I have no idea. I guess if you don't know me well, you could assume it was something else.
Justin was just a boy that needed a female friend other than his mother. In my own petty way, I loved him. In a pristine, sisterly way. The idea that people get is more of a "bf/gf" view of us. By all that is holy and unholy, my people, I have never had a romantic thought about the boy. If I ever do, I pray I am obscenely inebriated and delusional. *shudder*
When you know someone that well, when you know all their flaws and the negative aspects of their personality, being attracted to them is nearly impossible. For me, anyway.

Many people don't know that I was genderless in high school. That is, to say, I was a nonsexual creature. I claimed neither gender role. I laughed every time someone suggested or asked if we were a couple. High school was funny. If I wasn't a devil-worshopping-dyke then I was Justin's other half. X_x

I was a prolific note writer back in those days. I have notebooks and folders stuffed full of notes from my friends. Most of them by Kuroiko. Notes meant a lot to me. I used to write to Julie and Justin over the summers. It didn't even matter if they wrote me back. It felt good knowing I could amuse them for a short while.

*"Closer (further away)" drills through the speakers*

I think what went wrong over the years is that some people didn't know me at all. That's why time means so little to me now. According to recent history, you can be my friend for 7-12 years and still not know me. So, I don't put stock in time anymore. Things change, people change. I generally stay the same. Generally. With the minor exception of now being overly confuckled as to what I'm doing with love.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE.... Raskipoo!

ER... I mean, yeah... nevermind.

He just IMed me, saying, "happy christ kill day er bunny egg day." No wonder I love this guy. ^_^