I had the most fucked up dream this morning O_o. I woke up minutes before my alarm went off, so I tried to scribble it down on paper:A creature, a man... I loved. But he was no longer human, and he was unable to control himself. He'd been some sort of experiment and because he was so dangerous, the gov't was coming to collect him. But he loved me. He wanted to stay with me. I think I was on a large boat with medical rooms. I cam to the room he was in to set him free. He didn't want to leave because I was there. He picked up a syringe and stabbed my forearm repeatedly. Realizing what he's done, he dropped it and covered his face. I came closer to him, the blood pooling on my arm underneath my sleeve. I moved in to kiss him and he hissed in spite of himself. And then I told him why he must go, get away. He was disagreeable. I told him that just because he wasn't human anymore, it wasn't an excuse to be cruel and that he could control himself. When he changed into a small creature, I chased him around the room--getting bruised and clawed. Finally, I caught him and locked him outside the room's sliding door. Then I checked my arm and pulled the curtains closed. I was getting ready to go to a game of some sort with my dad. The creature was scratching at the glass desperately. In his human form, he looked like the man in Alien Resurrection that's sold while he's in cryo-sleep to the sick alien-cloning fuckers and later takes out a bad guy with the alien that bursts out of his chest. My dream logic is so messed up. My arm hurt when I woke up. It was crazy. He was this vicious, primal man that loved me but hurt me and couldn't stop himself from doing so.
Read whatever you like from that into my real life.
*Wolfsheim moment*
Rask says I'm a smartass now. He thinks it's cute, but it's really a defense mechanism. It's too soon to tell if I'll ever go back to my old self. I may have my hair in pig tails now, but that's not even a small step. I can't stay on neutral ground forever.
Watch the Greek Goddess be reborn. Watch her emerge from a Hellenistic sculpture and descend to Earth as light as a snowflake.
My nails are growing out. Perhaps I will keep them. I vaguely remember someone mentioning they liked my nails. When was that? I should slick them in dark dark red. Garnet spades, as I called them in high school.
*Econoline Crush makes my subwoofer happy*
Mew.
She smiled and looked at me and said, "You don't know what it's like. I feel like nothing at all. You don't know what it's like."
*purr*
Mewph, I'm gonna go play RO now. ^_^
2:20 p.m.
RO is down. Poo
*listening to the acoustic version of "Duvet" by Boa*
This is summer. Joyous, sticky Kentucky summer. *turns on fan and glances at the clock* What am I going to do today? Or the next 3 months? I'm thinking about getting away for a while. I don't even care where; I just want to be alone for a while and have some peace and quiet. Hell, I'd settle for the condo down by Mammoth Cave. All alone, though? Well, I probably couldn't drag one of my friends with me. They have to work. Alone, then. It would be good for me, I think.
Ha, Justin (Wolf Man) says I should go to bartending school. He graduated a little over a week ago. I admire all his effort to get his life moving. Hmmm... bartending....
<---I wish