I have to work at 6. blah.

currently: huh?

I just watched the Eva movie, Death and Rebirth. Um... WAHHHHHHH. Still no resolution. Oh, my brain hurts. Rebirth ended so abruptly... fucking cliffhanger, too! NO FAIR, YOU GAINAX BASTARDS! *sob*

I just cut my nails off again. ooOoOo...

I was watching this thing on the news the other night about love/sex/relationships. It talked about 3 stages: lust, romantic love, and attachment.

Hmm, attachment? Well, if I feel anything at all for another human being, I think of only them. No one else can make me feel the way they do. (I use they and them, but I could use him/he... I'm lazy) But that's not quite attachment yet. Attachment is a bit higher, I think.

I read the second volume of Chobits yesterday. Aside from the fan-service fluff, I really think the deeper meaning strikes a chord with me. Maybe CLAMP is just pulling on my romantic heartstrings. Anyhow, the surfacing plot is about finding someone just for you. Nice dream, isn't it?

Have to get ready for work now.

2:16 p.m.

currently: I'm as happy as a little gurl

*listening to Apop, Harmonizer*

Well, not that happy, but I've always wanted to use that.

Kuroiko, I completely agree with you about mailing lists/chats/etc. In fact, I don't even bother to read the ML's I'm on anymore because the members have become infantile. I shit you not. Some of them even RP characters. Uh... I never dug that shit. It's lame as hell. And some of that some are easily testy if you state your opinion at all. If ever you think your life sad, look at these poor bastards that claim to be Shido or Count D.

So, I delete whatever mail I get from them and haven't bothered going to the actual pages for ML's in months. Nobody wants to carry on a serious discussion, anyway--no matter how hard you might try to start one. It all comes down to "do you think So-and-so is gay?" >_<

Mmm. Rask called and woke me up this morning. Well, it wasn't really morning, but I was still in bed.

only time will heal, you say
your words my therapy
but half of me is gone
my dearest treasure torn away

I've been thinking about what will go on when Rask does travel the world. Such thoughts are not easy to grasp, yet they have to be. I guess I'll concentrate on school again and on manipulating my flesh from the inside out.

My way of thinking has changed so much in the last year. The old me is still lurking beneath the surface, and she emerges now and then to remind me. Sometimes we argue about me going mad. I want things I never thought I would want. And now, they are all that seem important. Maybe silence would be the perfect test for my sanity. All my growth and experiences can only make me wiser... or more weary. One thing would still hold true:

you might fall in love with someone else today,
but I will always love you, anyway

I think I'll go watch that Eva movie.