currently: Murr?

Something has happened, but I do not know what. I hate that feeling. I'd like to pull my intuition out of my stomach and hurl it in the dirty laundry sometimes.

Other than this, things are fine.

5:48 p.m.

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3:01 a.m.

currently: so much to do...

Ah, yes, another middle of the night entry. And I feel especially bubbly, too, so this entry might just have a point. By bubbly, I mean that I want to write.

Maybe it's the red nail polish.

School... the ongoing torment. I may be taking another lit course, a history course, and astronomy. And perhaps something else. No, definitely something else, provided anything is available. I continue to ramble on through classes which hold no great interest to me, but it's all part of the process of finding something that does interest me. I wish there were another approach to academia. Mindlessly filing from class to class in hopes of some epiphany has not been fruitful thus far. The credits are stacking up, but for what ultimate end? I don't even know what kind of degree I'm going for here. o_O This is a bad thing, ne? To be honest, I could continue to take classes such as I have been for the next ten years and still not find what I'm looking for. That is, if college weren't so expensive and I didn't have to work. I like learning. Really, I do (though I'm convinced that most of what I learn evaporates in a matter of months).

I'm looking at perhaps two more years of school. Maybe more. Joy. I must narrow down my choices, stop looking at all the forks in the road, and follow one path. It's not that I am indecisive... It's that I don't know what the hell I want to do. I'm twenty-three and haven't a clue what kind of occupation I want when school is over. I may just give up and go back to EKU next fall. I intended to go back there, eventually. I could get into broadcasting or something of that sort. It seems wise to exploit natural talents... babble babble.

Then again, I wouldn't mind doing something to sharpen my creativity, such as design. But not the type of design you take in high school. I'm thinking Hollywood monster/makeup. This would potentially give me a chance to paint and sculpt again.

Sorry, I just watched Lord of the Rings again and started day-dreaming when I saw the orc makeup. I could do that.

I may have to stick my neck out and venture into something bigger than I thought I could ever be a part of. Like Puppy going to Full Sail, a program that costs more than he'll make in a handful of years when he's done. I have never even dared to think about being in debt. It might come down to that if I cannot find something in regular college which holds my attention for more than four months.

I wish I could be a risk-taker.