currently: Whipping out 6 pages of BS for Greek-Renaissance Lit.

*listening to Radiohead--Bones*

Okay, I have all night to come up with 2 papers for the last bit of my Eng. midterm. I took a relatively long nap, so I should be able to babble on for at least 2-3 pages for each of them. (skipped anthro and communications in the process). In addition, I need to start doing some of these ridiculously easy com. activities. I have 5 left, I think. They aren't due any time soon. And that teacher still hasn't informed anyone as to what our group presentations involve. Oh, well. I can contact the people in my group and we can all sit around and wonder together.

I need something. I can't put my finger on it.... just something. Health, wealth, beauty, and fame? nah...Love, joy, truth? pahhh....

I hope it does rain tonight or tomorrow. It looks as though it will. The wind howling against the roof and windows calms me at night.

I bought 2 dvds this week. Dammit... *smacks hand* BAD! on top of a cd last week BAD! eep. I don't even have the time to enjoy the dvds yet... why did I buy them? argh... I hate my feeble brain.

I'm collecting all my photos of Julie and everything she ever gave me. I'm not quite sure what I'll do with them, but I need to get rid of them and get rid of this halo of bitterness. Everything in my life is either superficial or fake or neglected. No depth. No substance. I am a hollow person because my head is near hollow. I know I won't wake up one day and be intelligent and thoughtful. But I can imagine what it would be like to see things and understand them or at least try.
The only way I'm not going to end up in an institution is if I become a hermit. Unfortunately, I can't even afford property in the middle of no where. I grip the wheel; I try to hang on. I don't know how much longer I can pretend. Sadly, I believe I was more sane as a teenager. At least then, I could feel. Yer supposed to be a whiny twit when you're a teenager. So, why am I worse now than I was then?

feh. One more semester of school here in town, then I'm moving out and maybe going back to Eastern.

Okay, time to work on the papers. >_<