currently: give out, yet still in a writing mood.

*listening to Haujobb*

Yes, I'm back. That's 2 entries today. I ended up taking a nap since there's no class today. And, of course, I slept longer than I wished to. d'oh.

Hmm... what can I babble about now?

*lost in the music* So... good... so... umm... don't mind me. My bones catch every beat. Make my eyes close. the shape of things tonight, I could not expect otherwise

YEA! Raskipoo is online! He who is responsible for much confusion in my brain. What a lovely feeling, though. I feel as though he's my guilty pleasure. And I'm incapable of resisting.

Anyhoo, that was a yummy nap, but it's screwed me up for the evening. And I have to work at 6am tomorrow. *smacks self* bad, fyx! bad!

I'm smoking too much. >_<

This hermit pokes her head out and stares at the world.
My tragic little dirt ball.
I never tasted its waters or danced on its soil. I was too busy clinging to its core, desperately seeking warmth. Sunlight is only temporary and penetrating when the sky is clear.

Penetration.
*thinks of Econoline Crush's You Don't Know What It's Like* You don't know what it's like. How could you? While most people are consumed with finding love in any form, I'm standing on the sidelines waving a white flag. I don't feel it like you do. Well, I feel nothing like anyone else does. It's like I'm in a sensory deprivation tank. Everything is intensely clear in my mind, yet I cannot determine if anything is real or not. Even memories seem fake to me. Did those things happen, or were they just a dream?

Some of the things I've felt over the years had to be only in dream.

I think back to those who sought to love me. And I wonder what they saw so appealing in my soul.
And I recall those who tried to use me. Those who devoured me bit by bit over the years, only to spit me out suddenly when their tastes changed.
I also think of those I pushed away. It didn't matter how beautiful they were or how deliciously warm... "off you go." I was defending my damned shell. Rarely, I'd have to unsheath the claws to do so. I hated doing that. There's nothing worse than striking those that want you.

Now, I'm searching for the file that will rid me of these claws. I do not wish to use them.
I wonder what the future holds in her grand tapestry. Do my words now affect the threads that she weaves?

I feel like nothing at all~~econoline crush