currently: lost in music

*listening to VNV Nation's "Savior"*

I managed to jump off the train to depression. I landed on my face, but I'm okay. Not like that did any damage. -_-

Why do I feel as if I've caught a butterfly, and I don't want to let it go? Though I know the butterfly deserves freedom, I cage it in my fingers and admire it lovingly until both its wings and my hand grow tired.

I have always envied the butterfly. I wonder if all larvae do.

There are so many souls I put my love in thoughtlessly. And, of course, I wonder what they put their love in.

Maybe I'm getting old and sentimental. I cling too hard to memory. And memory is fading.

Facing reality is a frightful thing. No matter where you turn, you know it's right behind you, whispering terrible truths into your ear.
"Open your eyes!"
"What are you doing?"
"You know you're dreaming."

Speaking of dreams...

Last night, I dreamed that I was on some sort of sinking ship and several of the people, including me, were swimming around saving cargo. Actually, I don't remember the ship at all--but the swimming and gathering cargo part is very vivid. The water was pitch black, the sky was ominous. I almost lost a shoe pulling one of the totes with my legs as I back-stroked to the people.
odd....

In another dream, tornadoes big fucking tornadoes were surrounding the countryside of my grandmother's house. I remember sitting on the porch. There was a man with me; I can't remember what he looked like, only that he was with me because he wanted to be. We watched the tornadoes together, calculating if we were in any danger. They were amazingly enormous, black twisters which spiraled and danced around each other. Had to be f4 or 5 classification. And we just watched in awe.

In another dream, I don't recall the setting or the plot... I only remember that a few people were there. A man was my stalker(?), and I kept hiding and avoiding him. I think. I dunno; this dream was very very fuzzy. I think Justin was there or perhaps a boy that looks like him. He was chuckling at me while I tried to avoid the stalker. "What the matter, Fyx? Don't want to meet your suitor?" he teased. Bastard. Heh.

Hmmm... I can't think of anything else to add right now that is of any relavence. Ooh.. I feel like I butchered that word. Sometimes my little pea brain can't recall how to spell words that I've used countless times before. Don't you hate that? It's as bad as the feeling of having a thought on the tip of your tongue which refuses to be captured and spat out.

Pointless:

Which Angelina Are You?

Which Winona Are You?

mew

A GREEN Dragon Lies Beneath!

I'm in a testy mood